Just a Ping Away...

Torn pages
from a diary.
Twisted dog ears,
Traces of memory...

A flash of thought,
Spills over like
a forgotten bookmark
from sandwiched shards of nothingness..

I wipe it out from
time to time
Enough of this mist
Enough of wordless mime.

It comes back,
like an old story
in a new cover
But the issue is closed...

Weird it is,
this juxtaposition,
Mind against the heart
In terrible opposition...

Between a dream,
and a bygone nightmare,
a severed thread lingers
completely in despair..

Open arms, I waited
for a long lost gesture
Demolished...
My own annihilation..

I search in vain
for a little more pain..
But what do I gain?

Just a phony call
that found its way
saying, 'I was just a ping away'..

Sorry, a network problem..
You are no more connected..
The issue is closed....
Exactly a ping away...

Tu Bhai hai to apun bhi behen hai!

Actually, I really dont think I should blog about this cos the guy in question, is being very nasty with me right now, he just threatened with hand gestures, to shut down the comp. But because I dont take such things to heart, I shall continue..probably he does'nt know he is being written about! Blame it on the innocence of his age or should I admit, his 'I-care-a-damn' attitude?


Whatever the reason, (see even I dont care!), the point is this is a post waiting to be blogged. When I was in the eighth standard, our class teacher told us that we need to celebrate rakhi! we were shocked. Most of us were open mouthed and dumbstruck for very obvious reasons. Thats the kuch kuch hota hai phase and this lady was telling us to do a bhaiya mere rakhi ke bandhan ko nibhaana...She was like all the girls will buy one rakhi each and all the boys should get something for the girls..fair enough...but the problem is, its according to your bloody roll number, so if u happen to be romantically inclined towards anyone around your roll call, then thats the end of the knight in shining armour and farewell to the dreamgirls...

I personally was not in favour of encouraging such a blasphemous relationship. I have a brother at home and I dont need to add to that number. This is the only place where I can bitch abt him and Iam making use of this golden opportunity...


So, when I was really small, and he was minus four smaller than me, we had a fight. Whats new? lots actually. Our fights have always seen the glint of new age weapons, it was never hit-with-whatever-you-find. Thats not how real warriors fight, thats random self-defence. The weapon in question here is a punching machine.. He hit me hard with it, on my back. And that was just the beginning of my romance with back injuries, that keep reminding me, in Arnold the great's famous words - "I will be back".

Years later, when we matured into responsible individuals, we got a new TV at home. Its USP for us was definitely the remote. U have the remote, u have the control, thinking thus, a deal was made and it was mutually decided to give each other a day with the remote. one day for me, one day for him. It was the fastest deal in the history of independent India, there was no one 'left' to oppose it anyway! thanks to my parents who firmly believed in hum do hamare do..

And then reality hit hard, we were informed that we were gonna vacate the delhi house and move to bangalore, for good. That was probably the first time that we realised we live in the same house. That was the beginning of a completely weird relationship.


We grew up, he did, definitely. He got friends, a nice bunch. He has always been the dominating kind, his following thus, is a bunch of wayward kids who look upto him. And he loves it and I love that. Temper plays around his nose, and he makes no attempt to silence it. I am not scared of it though, maybe Iam but thats just a wee bit.

We used to play a lot together, even though we had our own gender specific friends. I learn cricket from him and since then I have been trying to impress him both with the ball and the bat, but in vain. He never complements, scolds always, but that has made me push myself harder. Sometimes I feel like he is my elder brother, but when I see that cheeky smile on his face, " Akka! enodu akka! " ( my sister!) I realise that my purse is gonna say good bye to a big bunch.

His face gives away his innermost feelings, how much ever he tries to hide. Behind that tough exterior is a sensitive soul, aiye sounds like some axe effect ad.. But thats true, he has cried his heart out after watching an emotionally charged movie 'sagar' . He says all kinds of things about the Indian cricket team, but then ends up biting his nails... He is what I call, the secret,silent, nail-biting spectator.

You should witness the dressing up ceremony. Bath over. towel rolled. mirror in fsront, full x-ray of the face, applies axe, almost empties the bottle. I fume. Wears jeans, takes shirts out...selects:

Bhai: oi ye theek hai kya?
MT: hmmm..
Bhai: theek se bata na..
MT: haan theek hai..
Bhai: (not convinced)
MT: tujhe kaun dekhne vala hai, kuch bhi pehenke jaana..
Bhai: tu kabhi theek se nahi batati..
MT: to puchta kyun hai?
Bhai: aur kaun batayega?
MT: (smiles) red pehenke jaa, vaise bhi tere paas kuch hai nahi..
Bhai: to leke dena.
MT vanishes...

This is an everyday affair...and will continue for years to come...I might not be able to say it on his face ever, but he is one guy I will do anything for...cos he just bought me chocolate cake from sweet chariot...that reminds me he is an awesome cook...extremely brilliant..he can make a five star dish outta dhabe ka khana and both will tempt your taste buds to ask for more... And he is really funny, you should see him sing and dance..His jokes are wicked and soon you will learn to laugh at yourself and when he laughs at yours, you feel like you have accompolished something...I mean, I feel I have...all the time..He can sing besura and bring the building down and if I do the same he says " sadhana raat ho gayi hai, akal nahi hai kya tere mein?" And I increase my volume....

I love him.

Completely, genuinely,honestly....even though he goes crazy over football,over liverpool, and is mad about red...He will go a long way,I know. He is so unlike me, and that is reason enough. Dismantle anything and give it to him, u will find a new and improved version,be it a broken cd, a comp,or a broken heart. Kids love him..Harish bhaiya chahiye, Harish Bhaiya chahiye...

Thanks for that arm around my shoulder
Thanks for being with me
Thanks for letting me win remote fights, and giving in to my stupidities
Thanks for teaching me cricket and making me fallmadly in love with it
Thanks for telling me I suck instead of flattering me to death
Thanks for everything....
have a wonderful life...i hope things between us dont change when u become a big man ;) u know what that means!

" bhai jao pahle us aadmi ka sign leke aao, jisne hamara ghar kharida tha, uske baad mere bhai, tu kahi bhi sign karne bol, main karungi.."

For all the songs we love and all the laughs we have shared and the tears....I know I irritate u too much, but this is just for you..

Hope u have the patience to read...

Take Care

He loves red...

Chak De India!!

Yes. I watched the movie...finally, after witnessing house full boards all over the city, I got to watch it on this very special day, 15th August 2007. Sixty years is a long time...The tv channels understand it, so does the media.. From CNN-IBN to NDTV, and our very own aaj tak... there were debates, indo-pak one sided superficial discussions...There were special shows, taking us back to the past, 1947 to 2007...our achievements, our contributions, our struggle...

I watched all that and much more. I was one of the millions listening to patriotic songs, repeatedly being played on TV. nothing moved me for quite some time. I surfed and re surfed and surfed again, the buttons on my remote are no more embossed. I was searching for something, I dont know what. In the process, my fingers trembled and went back two channels, some weird awards and a scantily audienced quiz show later, I found it. A sardarji was singing,

ae guzarne vaali hawa bata
Mera itna kaam karegi kya....

and it went on to..

Main vaapas aaoonga
Main vaapas aaoonga

And I realised what I was searching for...I cried... It touched me, the way the guy sang, he could barely sing cos his voice was choking...But it was straight from the heart, genuine, not the annu kapoor type.

I can still hear his voice. Why I brought this up here? Cos I felt like, cos I just wanted to, thats what freedom is all about, isnt it?

Chak de India was an experience in itself, no I am not gonna review the movie, but for me this was Shahrukh Khan's best performance after Swades. He has done a brilliant job. the dialogues are intelligent and delivered superbly, there is subtle humour with immaculate timing...They could have done a better job with the screenplay, but I am no expert. The title track rocks, it makes you wanna dance!! Even though you know the outcome, you will find yourself surprisingly sitting at the edge of your seat, biting those dirty nails off...even if you pretend to predict!

So thats that. But what happened after the movie left me with a few questions. We, that is my friend and I, came out from the theatre, searching for an auto. every auto guy we asked said 150 bucks for 8 kms, I have always detested the incessant right that they seem to possess with no rhyme or reason and more often than not they end up getting a piece of my mind. So, I said "aap apne paas apna auto rakho"..

Next auto, a flag sitting pretty, looking beautiful on top of it, the guy said "ten rupees extra dena madam"
MT: Sirf 7 baje hain. kamsekam jhanda rakhke nainsafi mat karo. sharam aani chhaiye tumko.
Auto: thhek hai baitho madam.
MT: meter se zyada nahi dooongi.
Auto: theek hai na madam, meter laga diya.
MT: baad mein ladayi mat karna.
Auto: aap baithiye na madam..

The three wheeler zooms past the bangalore not-so-trafficky-evening. As I read his name plate that said mahaboob pasha.... The wind sways the flag on my face, I touch it, with pride, as I glance through it and read a hoarding which said "dangerously desirable"....I smile

We get down, and my friend tells the auto guy,
F: bura na mano to ek baat kahu. flag utar do, andhera ho gaya hai.
auto: nods...

The first thought or question or what ever u wanna call it, was why?? why should he put the flag inside? Just because its dark. I asked him. he said, its a rule. there are some special occassions when u can let it sway after dark.

I dont agree. Somehow its not acceptable to me, even if its a rule, or like my other friend said, a flag protocol. The auto guy, Pasha, was celebrating his country's independence day, doesnt he even have the freedom to let the flag sway till whenever he wants it to?

What freedom are we talking abt? Is it only for the armed forces and the politicians, the right to hoist the flag? Is it only on special occassions?

If the announcement of freedom was made at midnight, the flag would have been hoisted then, midnight is not sunshine in full bloom! now this is a special occassion..hmmm

My question is why not? why cant I hoist the flag and keep it till day break? maybe this is how i celebrate my independence day...

I, a civilian and the citizen of this country want to hoist the flag, a flag that is the symbol of my country and its independence, its identity, a flag that came to 'light' after 200 dark years of slavery, of inhumanness, of being the so called white-man's burden...

Do I have it in me?

I would say Chak de India!

Some Random Crap 2

Back to blogging. Back to crapping, and lots more. So much has happened, hard for the mind to comprehend, harder for the heart to ignore. Not in any order, this is obviously random....

I was talking to one of my childhood friends and we were discussing something that both of us severely lack, weight.. He was telling me abt BMI thats body mass index, by the way, and he concluded that I am a stick, like I dint know!

So we have our first woman president, hmmm, some say give her a chance others say, who the hell is pratibha patil, never heard of her! I was one of the latter. Dr. Kalam is someone I respect, admire, adore, there could have been no replacement. He had a foresight, an eye on the future. He sincerely believed in nation building, in the Ramnath Goenka Debate, aired on NDTV and CNN IBN, he said journalists should focus on nation buliding which is equal to A+B+C. A is increase GDP growth, B 60% below poverty line, improve their condition and C restore belief in the value system. Love the man, I still refuse to accept Ms Patil as President. Thats not gonna change anything, anyway!

Watched Phir Milenge and Morning Raaga, yes I hadnt seen either, damn I feel so old, havent watched many movies. Both are brilliantly directed and superbly acted, Shilpa Shetty and Shabana Azmi were outstanding. At one point, Abhishek Bachchan who plays the I-want-to-help-people lawyer, is in a quandry, searching for reasons why he wanted to become a lawyer, he goes on to say that he lost his primary aim earning money, as good and as much as it came. I can relate with that, I shall not elaborate...

I am also watching a whole lot of not-so-real(ity) shows, all of them suck beyond everything. They are simply playing with emotions, they seem to follow a mantra that says 'More tears for more TRP!' If tears dont do the needful, then its definitely war of the judges and brilliant editing that makes the 'sincere and dedicated' viewer sit a mile from the remote. I can write a thesis on this...some other time, maybe. What exactly are we doing for indian idles? The unemployed lot? are we voting sincerely enough or do we plan to lose it all to the Indian Idol?

Sanjay Dutt finally got his sentence, and the world went berserk. Usko ek sentence mili, logo ne to panne bhar diye, an argument says he was in his best conduct and attended court even when he was sandwiched between tight shooting schedules... Isnt he supposed to do it anyway? Six years is a long time, maybe, maybe not. Does he deserve it, I am no one to say that.. Just as I am no one to select my president.

Well, all through all this, just some time back, Sania beat Hingis! Finally did it, I am glad, actually I am mightily happy, and then I was triply happy when we beat England, it always gives me a high to beat english in their own backyard, that too convincingly..Sreesanth's wary aggression caused him an oust from the team, but then he was too wayward and his beamer was just uncalled for.

Will we ever seal the deal? This stupid nuke-deal seems to have taken longer than the '93 bomb blast verdict. screw them...duniya tarakki kar raha hai, hum 1,2,3 pe attak jayenge! thu..The americans are a bunch of idiots, like one of my close friends wrote in one of his very first articles, Indians, simpletons, fools?

ah and friendship day came and went I dint even realise, except for that one phone call from the Big Ben! ;) And a thoughful card from someone who 'me thinks' ;)

On that note, this hardly-working woman, stops the crap flow, pardon the randomness of it all...

Rendezvous with Salman Khan

Just last week, I indulged in something I find extremely boring and a sheer waste of time and money. Shopping! Now, that I am employed, I need to get a nice wardrobe, so says amma...I cant go like just some girl who cares a damn about what she is wearing...Like they are paying me for what I am wearing...

Shopping on commercial street on any street for that matter is more difficult than rocket science. I am dying of hunger, while amma shops for me, suit material...When hunger is coupled with boredom and that too me being the victim, its a pretty sad state of affairs. I begin to show extreme disinterest in all those mannequins, all bald and beautifully dressed.

My eyes spot an american corn seller, I tell ma, I will be back in a while, she has this 'where to' expression on her face and I say "pasikaradu" (meaning, am hungry) she says fine lets go.
Lets go?? I thought I was hungry. Never mind...

So then, we buy corn. She sweeps the cup clean, faster than a tendulkar (ok sad pun on sweep), as I struggle with the spoon which is smaller than a key hole. I sit on the side walk, opposite the Favourite shop (50% off, hurry) amma reads the last word and rushes in...

I make myself comfortable on the side walk, which is already occupied. And then I spot him..
Clad in a pink banian and faded jeans, he sat in style, like he always does...
oh oh jaane jaana playing in my head, I offer him the residue of my corn, he replies in Tamil
"Neengal sapudunga" (you eat)

MT: Tamil epudi teriyum? (how do u know tamil)
SK: Learnt it, worked in several places, I am a fast learner.
MT: Oh cool! So then you must have understood everything I spoke to ma.
SK: Definitely! I dint show it, I am a silent observer, and a good actor.
MT: oh of course.
SK: Where are you from?
MT: I am from Delhi. ( safest bet)
SK: Oh I have been to delhi, Its a beautiful place.
MT: yes yes. ( I was already impressed)
SK: I think you should go now, your mom is already inside.
MT: Thats ok. Anyway she wouldn want someone who doesn offer any help with either the clothes or the cash. what brings you here?
SK: I came with a friend, he is just taking a round, will be here any minute.
MT: Oh cool! I wanna meet him.
SK: Iam not sure if u will like him.
MT: Why not?
SK: Lets see...

Time out... Friend doesnt appear on the scene and I realise its time that I went into the not-so-favourite-shop.

SK suddenly jumps, "Ah there he is"... I have this notion of some tall guy, with long hair, I witness, a man, well over twenty, using his legs for his hands... Begging...

The person I was talking to was in no way ordinary. He had accompolished a lot, his eyes showed a rare determination, a zest and the immediate need to set things right. I was in awe.
Still am.

I asked him out of curiosity: what is your name?

"Salman Khan" he said.
I have never seen a more confident smile.

" Not the actor" he added, as an after-thought.

I smiled. wished him luck. " Thanks Akka"

Took his friend and walked away to an uncertain future.

While I stood there, telling myself, shopping is not such a bad deal after all!

Oh Oh jaane jana......

Some Random Crap

Crap can mean a lot of things. It can mean crap as in literally crap or crap as in anything that one feels is crap-like! Definitely not making sense. But that what this post is about...
Some random crap...

------

2 months in Delhi. UNI in this not-so-beautiful-world. Life felt like it was never like that!
I just wanted it to get over cos what UNI gives you besides tasty subsidised halwa, is a world of disguised unemployment leading to frustration and dehydration due to delhi heat.

-------

Back to bangalore. College beckons. People all seem new and different. Getting back to books, back to student mode, after a stint as an employee of a 'prestigious' organisation was more difficult than I thought. Friends or rather a friend made all the difference. Thanks. had you not been there I would have broken down.

----------

Exams done away with. College over. MT post graduate... Still not all that wiser though. Just another degree old.. Its getting hot in here! ;)
Convocation day, came and went... No invocation song, inspite of hours of practise...The MC forgot!

-------------

People packed their bags. Left for their respective places in search of livelihood. Pardon the exaggeration. The residue is here, waiting...

----------------

Rona dhona over. Painful journey to the station to send off people every second day, over. Paying fine for no platform ticket, arguing with the personnel at the station, over. Roll no 16 expressing his emotions for the first time on platform 1, over. MT crying as Sri Sri kids leave, over. Over and out.

-------------------

Searching for a job. Dropping resumes all over the city. Waiting for interview calls. everything seems like a movie. So surreal but THE reality. Unemployment sucks but giving interviews is so exciting.. I wish I could do that for life!! Running your fingers across classifieds, keyword-journalists wanted (really makes you feel so wanted, atleast by someone ;) )

-------------------------

Mumbai flooded, Sahib singh verma dead, Pratibha Patil for president, Infosys to take over capgemini, Little master on 15,000, Bachchan and Barabanki, Brown britain PM, Rice says NAM is crap...

--------------------------------

Appa still smokes

------------------------------------

No movies watched yet

----------------------------------------

A birthday came and went. I did not wish, deliberately. I still care I always will. No matter what I say. I still care.

---------------------------------------------

No headphones yet. No calls. No mails. No messages.

Just some random crap.............


------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Me Thinks Me Weird!

Rules are:
* Each player starts with eight random facts/habits about themselves.

* People who are tagged need to write posts in their own blog about their eight things and post these rules.

* At the end of your post, you need to choose eight people to get tagged and list their names.

This is something I would have done anyway... But now this becomes important as I had been tagged by none other than someone who won the 'Thinking Blogger Award'...

1. I hate the rain. It depresses me.

2. I dont know how to start a conversation with girls, I feel extremely awkward. Iam more than comfortable with the guys, unfortunately for them.

3. Writing gives me a high..its so intoxicating that I can do it all my life. Iam addicted to it.


4. Iam in love with Amitabh Bachchan and I strongly believe I was related to him romantically ;) in the previous birth.


5. I like pain, physical pain. I think it gives me endurance. It makes me stronger, it tests my limits.


6. I have weird mood swings. I might be extremely happy, enthusiastic, on top of the world and then miserable, angry, upset, depressed, irritated the next minute.


7. I think I have a learning disorder, Iam technologically challenged.


8. I wish I was a guy.



I tag:

Nothin Within

Reema

Cosmos

Richa

Chicane Cruiser

Anand

Mad Angel

cant think of more people...

Just 8 cms Away......

What did the tall chimney tell the small chimney?

" You are too young to smoke"

Not a milllion dollar question, not a wisecrack, just an old joke. But why now? why today???

Today is a special day...two reasons:
Today is one of my closest friend's birthday..Happy Birthday Cosmos...

The second reason is something I have been toying with. I dont know if this is the appropriate place, all I know is that this is the most appropriate time..

Cigarrette smoking is injurious to health, words marked in red. The one who sells cant read, the one who can read, chooses not to. I shall not go into its ill-effects, not because its oft-repeated but because that is not my objective here.

It causes Cancer, infertility, leukemia and several other life threatening complications, but who cares? thats not the objective, like I said. Thats all just in the books or on TV where the style statement on 70mm, turns into a public service message. But again who cares?

I do. I am a self-confessed passive smoker. I have a chimney at home.
The chimney for smoke uses an 8 cm long nicotine filled stick-like object, which needs a matchstick or the more sophisticated, lighter to burn. This results in a sensation that gives you a high and for those like me, gives a rock bottom all-time low.

It burns the lungs, takes the life outta you and they call it 'stress-buster'..
Even I can smoke if I want to, but unlike those who do, I have this very irresistable urge to live.
Smoking, I guess wont give me that high!

They say there are ways to control it. Hong Kong has recently developed an e-cigarette. Then there is hypnosis and then there are several other alternatives. But the point is, unless one wants to leave it for good, he/she wouldn take any of these steps. Saif ALi Khan complained of chest pain and was admitted to the hospital recently. The reason: excessive smoking. Are you waiting for that warning? Oh but again, thats not the objective.

Appa, this is the last time. I want you to be there to see your grand-children grow. Thats a very dramatic dialogue, but if this doesn't work, nothing would. I know how much a goldflake, or kings as you so very lovingly call it, costs. No. Not 30 bucks. It costs life. Is it worth it?

Is that 8 cm long piece of lifeless crap more precious?

The choice is still yours, we are still at a distance.... just 8 cms away...

Bridge the gap... just 8 cms away...

This is an appeal, if this doesnt work...nothing would....
Nothing ever would....

Just 8 cms away....Appa...

Happy No Tobacco Day....

The IS and the WAS

Its been a really long time since I posted. No net connection and the most limited access to the web world will have to take the blame.

I am in the city I was born in, therefore it would be right to say that it holds a lot of memories of my childhood ranging from amazing to awful. But the point is, I am back to where I thought I belonged. Maybe, maybe not.

Six years and so much has changed. The roads are brilliant, flyovers have made distances seem near negligible. CNG vehicles have reduced pollution considerably. Incessant honking, unnecessary howling has been almost done away with, almost. It exists, here and there. Malls and some more malls now 'aaram se' sit pretty on those encroached government paths that came under the sealing drive. All of that is legal, by the way. Traffic police have more power than the Prime Minister and rightly so, you dont wear a helmet, pay 600 bucks fine, your pillion without a helmet pay some more! Now, drunk driving, talking on the phone and smoking while driving all amount to fines and a better half of your life chakki peesing. not so 'fine'!!

So much and some more. Auto guys are second only to the underworld, they wont come where you wanna go, their rates are so exhorbitant that even Chidambaram would agree with their inflation excuse! "madam mehangaayi itni badh gayi hai, bachchon ko kya khilayenge?" But they are the best source for info and have an opinion about everything. "Ab to Mayawati aa gayin na, dekhna sonia nahi tikegi, ye sab badal jaayega." I smile and he nods in acknowledgement, we communicate through the rear view mirror. Buses are fun, people sleep and continue sleeping even if the bus bumps over the speed breaker several times over, I am amazed at their impeccable balance. Metro !!! Simply rocks, the system is so user friendly that any idiot like me can travel without any hassles. well maintained and absolutely spotless..

So much has not. Shopkeepers are still open to bargaining, " Bhaiya kya yaar, hum phir aayenge na, dene ka daam bolo," he will make a face and then say with utmost respect "le jaiye madam, ab bhi kya yaad rakhengi" ...
I still hate to shop. Palika bazar and janpath invite those who love to empty their pockets to the temptations of every day life at a much cheaper price. Rightly so.

People are the same, the warmth exists, the " haan jis and namaste ji's " "kya haal hai?" " aaj to tum chaa gaye!", People you have met just yesterday, remember your name and if they cant, the guilt and disappointment is more than obvious on their sweating faces. Beat the heat, how, nobody has figured out yet. Life still goes on, come wind, rain or hailstorm.

BUT..

There is always a 'but'. Delhi is not home, Delhi is not where i see myself settling down (actually i dont see myself 'settling down' at all!) , Delhi was once the place i always wanted to be, Delhi was once my home. Period.

Bangalore with all its traffic jams, lazy people, slower than a snail life, is where I belong... Bangalore with all its inadequacies, Bangalore with christ college, Bangalore with Sri Sri, Bangalore with so much and not so much.
Bangalore is home....

Delhi WAS.

Bangalore IS.

And there lies the difference....

BREAKING NEWS.....

It happened then,
without a warning
all of a sudden
out of the blue

When things hit you,
asking for evidence
of your existence

Claustrophobic this
very being,
inside me, deep within
scars piled up,
scathing, unseeing

Who would want to know?
Who would want to know?
This breaking news?
Any takers??

No sunshine
No drops of dew
A crack enveloped
in the fourth chamber

Complicated, Confused
wanting to reveal
the purpose of survival
in every new reel

But...
who would want to know?
who would want to know?
This breaking news?
Any takers??

Any takers??

Pappu Pass Ho Gaya!

Black Board in class 4 A reads

: Write an essay on "My ambition In life"

With a pen in my hand and another hand scratching my head, I think about what this word can possibly mean.. Hmmm.. ambition I thought was something that you want to do, some vocation that you want to take up that would give you immense pleasure.

I wrote "I want to be a bus conductor. He is the most powerful person because when he taps on the door, the bus stops, when he whistles, girls dont feel bad and boys obey." Blame it on the innocence of that age.

Class 5 A
Black Board reads same as above. (The education system lacks innovation)

I wrote " I want to be a washerman (dhobi, well I was never gender specific). I like riding on cycles and he is one guy I always see with one. Even milkmen carry milk on their cycles but then who will get up so early in the morning?"

Class 6 A
Essays stopped. I continued writing though. I wanted to be an athelete. Win the olympics, bring back gold medals for my country. I ran and ran for years...But then had to stop. Reluctantly I did stop, the feet did, that is. The pen did not.

Classes came and went. What I wanted to become, what I wanted to achieve, changed almost every year. I was so lost that I dint know where I was going! ( thats what lost means, actually!)
Then I wanted to join the army, there are things that always remain a distant dream.. I guess I dont have it in me!

All through ''MeinKampf" my pen stood the test of time...I know way to textbookie this line, nevertheless, I shall use it.
I wanted this, I wanted that. Ambition then became as small as just being able to cross the road, tell a friend Iam sorry, tell someone that I love them, remember the names of newly elected ministers, newly etched out states in my country's map, finish an assignment, bring out lab journal before deadline, find time to miss people and tell them that I miss them.

Ambition meant fighting with my brother for the remote, winning it without getting hurt!
It meant writing a headline for a story which made no sense
Writing a story, rewriting the same story
attempting exams
And much more....

It was always about reaching and reaching out
It was always about getting there
It was always about beginning something

It was always about screwing up an interview by saying " I have a father, a mother and a brother!" (like the rest of the population has multiple parents!)

It was always about getting away with it...
Abhi to bus trailer nikali hai, picture to ab bhi baaki hai...
filhaal...
Pappu Pass Ho Gaya!

ILLUSION

The feeling, the need, the touch

of triumph, of glory, of achievement,

of fate.

Of belief, of certainity, of faith, of destiny

of modesty, of grace

of immortality, of imagination,

of folly, of fault, of reason.

Of the flowers, the wind, the rain,

of the sun, the sea, the seasons

Of time, of money, of power

of passion, of lust, of love.

of miles and miles of nothingness.

Of living, of life, of death.

of the frailities of mankind

of the tryst in the body, the soul and the mind.

Of logic, of emotion

of the void within

of the vaccum without

of the dreams that did not see the light of the day

of reality that seems so far away.

Of all that could have been

of all that actually is

of me, of myself, of the alter ego.

Of the illusion I refuse to see

Of the illusion that is me.

PS. Penned at a boring Press conference

To Sir, With Love

Selection for sports meet..

Represent house on Sports Day
Scorching heat on a summer morning, MT and kids from other classes line up...

"7th B-MT?"

MT steps forward-
DK sir-" Too short, you wont be visible if you carry the flag, ye to dikhegi hi nahi, Negi sir, kya karein?"

Negi Sir- "Nikaal do, next"

Trials again...next morning
MT stands watching the proceedings...a not-so-silent-spectator..

Negi sir- "7th B?"
MT- "yes sir"
NS- "class monitor?"
MT-"yes sir"
NS- "unko aur koi nahi mila kya?"
MT-"no sir"
NS-"Bhaagna hai tumko?"
MT-"yes sir"
NS-" tum yes sir aur no sir ke alava kuch bolti ho?"
MT-"yes sir"
NS-" sports room se whistle leke aao, I will time you, 40 secs..."
MT-"yes sir"

MT never wears a watch, time is never in her hands..in nobody's hands, for that matter..
returns after 45 secs...

NS-"5 second late, hmmm, kya kare tumhare saath?"
MT-" Sir aapki whistle kho gayi thi, dustbin ke paas padi thi"
NS-"no excuses"
MT-"Yes sir"

Awkward silence follows as Sir plays with the idea of including MT in the relay team, hurdles team and 200 mtrs....

MT-"sir aur kuch lana hai sports room se?"
NS-"nahi, DK sir se poocho flag kahan hai"
MT-"sir sports room mein table pe pada hai, lekar aau, is baar 40 secs...
NS-"run"

MT runs, returns with flag in hand, dot 40 secs....

NS-"good, hurdles kiya hai kabhi?"
MT-"No sir"
NS-"hmmmm...."
MT-"Seekh lungi sir, flag uthane dijiye"
NS-"tum abhi aur kya uthakar laayi thi?"
MT smiles...does a triumphant dance on her way back to class...

Sports Day
Prahalad House
March Past...flag in hand, following Amit Bhaiya, Head boy and MT's mentor...
"eyes right...... left, right, left...."

Prahalad house loses to Eklavya....

200 mtrs
On your mark, get set, whistle....

MT runs....runs, runs, still running...
Shravan house wins
Eklavya house wins
MT comes Third...

break...

DK sir: "kaha tha na negi, isko kyun liya? she was reperesenting the house, mazaak nahi hai.."
NS-"Hurdles baaki hai, abhi bachche ko kuch mat bolo.."
DK-Nods in disagreement.." is baar bhi hum eklavya se haar jaayenge, itni choti si hai, khudegi kaise, phas jaayegi.."
NS-"dekhte hai"
NS to MT
"Tumko pata hai kya karna hai? DK doesnt like you much and you know that, all the best"
MT-extremely short of confidence, guilty of letting house down, walks towards the start line, takes stance, waits for the whistle that would decide her journey through hurdles.....

"On your mark, get set, whistle"

MT runs........First hurdle- success,position third

Second hurdle- success, position third

Third hurdle- lace open, falls, position negligible

removes shoe, runs like there is no tmrw...

Fourth hurdle- success, position second

finish line.............position one

MT falls, this time in happiness, in the joy of conquering the fourth hurdle...
Prahalad house beats Eklavya finally....

NS-"DK sir doesnt like you at all...."
MT-"Thank you sir"

Today is Negi Sir's birthday....

Moral of the story..."It doesn matter how many times you fell, what matters is how many times you got up"

Thank You Sir....

Abhi bachche ko kuch mat bolo....

Rain Rain Go Away...

pitter patter, pitter patter
...drops fall on the ground...
...fragrance of wet earth fillling your lungs!
you feel like you just refreshed a page that cannot be displayed..(kill joy, thats me)
AHA! experience in other words....

you feel a sense of freedom, you feel like lifting your arms up, wide open....Liberation
you wanna fly, with no care in the world...
for, its raining...

I remember, when I was in school, kids used to love the rain cos that would mean, wet ground and no assembly, no monitoring, no long speech, no punishment...

I remember, when I used to return from school, kids used to love getting wet..soaked from head to toe...wet uniform, will catch cold so school ki chutti....far fetched, but hope is a free entity..

I remember, rain always brought with it truck loads of excitement...people rush to their balconies, windows, doors just to get a glimpse of how cluttered drops of water, flushed from above somewhere, look...

Sky spitting like there is no tmrw.....

I remember, in college, the first time we had a heart-to-heart...it rained
we got acquainted in the midst of an unknown, uninterested crowd, showers our only other listener....

Parted ways...it rained...friends used to tell me 'see, even God is crying!'
Football match...it rained...
Final Farewell...last day...it rained....

It poured everytime I wanted to play, everytime I wanted to go out,everytime i wanted to eat ice cream, everytime I wanted to meet someone, everytime I.... everytime I just wanted to be me....

I never liked the rain....it means nothing to me..my life stops for those few seconds, minutes, hours....

why?

why?

Drops of water create slush,muddy-muddy, dirty dirty....
Watching the rain depresses me.....
Talking abt it upsets me...
It bounds me...liberation ends....

why?

I have no idea...

Rain Rain Go Away
come again another day
Little 'me' want to play

Rain Rain Go Away....

This post has been written and deleted several times....

The Rain never goes away..my streets are flooded......STILL

Rain Rain Go Away..

Saleem aur Anarkali....A Sad Attempt...

Saleem: aapki razza kya hai mohtarma?
aapki khidmad me haazir
hain hum
Anarkali:aap hamari khidmad me kuchh shaayari pesh keejiye...

Saleem: Shaayari ki baat na kar ai husn ki begairat adaa waali
tere husn ki jhalak ne ek vaar kiya is aashiq par
ki mujrim karaar kar diya duniya ne.
Anarkali: agar hum laila hote aur aap majnu
to aapka ye kalaam sunkar hum bahut pahle hi
so gaye hote.
achchha hua galib pahle hi khuda ki mehfil ko rawaana ho gaye

Saleem: iis kadar beinteha nafrat kyon hai?
dard to hume pata nahin chalta aur mehsoos sirf aapki judayi hoti hai lekin
dard to mera ek ehsaas hai
Anarkali: wah wah!!!

Salim: Saza manzoor hai mujhe par itni nafrat kyon?
Anarkali: aapse koi nafrat kare bhi to kaise, koshish to bahut kee
par nafrat hume hi ho gayi khud se

Saleem: oh kya kahna mere mahboob ka,
nafrat to ek nagma hai jo aapke
ashkon pe saja hai.
Anarkali: vo aapke liye nahi hai
us nafrat ke haqdaar to vo the jo hume chod ke chale gaye
ab unse bhi kya nafrat karna jo is kabil bhi nahi.
waise aapke liye to jaan hazir hai ek bar
aazma kar to dekhiye.

Saleem: aapki jaan ko to hum kabhi nahin aazmayenge
har ek saans me ek ajab si masti hai jo jeete hue hi parakh lenge hum
wo kaam hum par chhod deejiye
Anarkali: tum par to humne sab kuchh hi chhod diya hai
ab hamare paas kuchh nahi hai.

Saleem: are ek mouka to do mujhe.
Anarkali: Mauka dene vaale hum kaun hote hai
mauke to hume dekh kar log lete hai...

Ab aage hum likhe bhi to kya likhe...
hamare paas to alfaaz hi itne kam hai..
jitna zindagi ke paas hamare liye waqt kam hai..

Disclaimer: The views and opinions expressed in this post are fictional. Any resemblance with any person living or dead is purely coincidental. This is a sad attempt by two jobless people. Names will not be disclosed for security reasons.

Caution: Joblessness can be dangerous.

End Of Scene # 5

Location:Richa's bed
Namoone: Pink, Devi, MT
The room is filled with notes, bits of paper scattered all over... bits of what has been said in class written on the edges of the freshly touched paper...
Scene #1 ( never mind the act, we are always in nautanki mode)
Time: 12:00 am

MT: nazism in germany blah blah blah...
Pink: whats a concentration camp?
MT: Jews, gas, naked, 6 million exterminated
Pink: (Eyes wide open almost touching the floor) Shit! how could he?
Devi: Thats what happened. But why are we talking abt Hitler now?

MT: you should read Diary of Anne Frank...
Devi:yes yes. I want a copy of that one. By the way, have you finished UAE?
Pink: Mujhe to neend aa rahi hai yaar, chaar baje uthke padhai karein?
MT, Devi: (mumble, like thats gonna happen) Nahi..

Scene #2
Time: 12:45
Namoone talk abt the status of women in UAE and the flexi time facilities that they get, maternity leave and the fact that the country is prosperous because of its natural wealth...
Read read and read. Mutual agreement to close UAE and get on with the family life in USA...

Pink: kya bakwaas hai? Divorce rates are so high, there is more remarriage than marriage.
MT: Yeah. The basis of their relationship is love you see, and they dont need consent of their parents or relatives to get into matrimony...
Devi: Single parent is the order of the day. The kids there are 4 times more detached from both their parents than in India...
Pink: (Reads ) Children move out at the age of 18, till then they are supported by their parents..hey thats why they are so independent...
MT: and also stressed out...
Devi: Yaar tumne modernization kiya?
MT: Kuch bhi nahi kiya. Kal bhi vaat lagegi sabki...I think we should just do traits of a modern person...

Scene # 3
Time: 1:30
Devi is dozing. Richa wants to sleep. MT and Pink vacate bed. Shift to MT's room, umm drawing room..hall..whatever you wanna call it..
Pink: yaar ab to bahut raat ho gayi..
MT: Kahan yaar, abhi to din shuru hua hai...
Pink glares at MT, latter gets the shut-up-or-i-will-hit-you-signal, takes out notes that say "Confrontation with Pakistan"....
Silence....

MT: I think both India and Pak are to blame, India is too proud of hinduism as a way of life- brahmin blah blah, Pak wants all muslim majority areas, we give kashmir they ask for assam, we give Assam, they will ask for hyderabad...Completion of pakistan is a farce, its not possible...But I feel, the reason why the firangs came here was primarily because of the wealth we had, spices etc included... We were too engulfed in vanity, that we lost track of what was happening around the world...apne pair pe kulhadi marna types...
Pink: (sleep does the vanishing act) No. I dont agree. The state of muslims in Pakistan is much worse than that of Indian muslims....
MT:hmm..to yahan pe vo kaunse aabad hai?
Pink: Yawn...so jaaye kya?

Scene # 4
Time:2:15
MT: Reads- A modern person should accept change, should have traits of self-efficacy, yawn...
Pink:dekha!
MT: Sets alarm. Nahi uthungi main..I know..
Pink:Main hoon na..don worry I will wake you up...Pukka

Scene # 5
Time: 2:30
Pink runs off like a small kid who has just finished her homework..
while MT ponders....

Clothes lying in the bathroom, dirty linen, needs a wash

India won the second one-dayer (MT smiles)

Need to finish corruption , 10 marks

India-pak confrontation, 10 marks

Alumni day after, no, not day after, tomorrow...

That would be 26th Jan. '07

Hmmm...

India ponders...

Dirty linen needs a wash

Need to finish corruption, sounds like an out of syllabus question?

India-Pak confrontation, a question mark in itself...

Alumni today- Names decorated on India Gate...

Amar Jawan Jyoti...salute...

Tujhe hai pukara......


26th Jan. '07

End Of scene # 5

The Cockroach Saga

When God created man...
woman
plants
nature
animals
blah
blah
reptiles
everything was still heaven.....
Inspite of the introduction of Man...

until....
the advent of the insects....
Cockroaches came, saw, conquered
and all hell broke loose....

The problem is not with their existance, it is with infringment. I have butcherd many, beaten them to pulp. Literally took the life outta them, but they refuse to leave. They have taken a liking to the vicinity that I understand as mine.

The other day, a couple of cockroaches trespassed into the media lab, I mean what guts! Entering the very same area that the rest of the world detests....
Ree screams at the top of her lungs, 'Yuck!' mumm mumm mumm... thats how she blabbers at times...
"Sadie cockroach!" I was like, what?! I was stick insect first and now Iam cockroach, as I rehearsed which gaali to use, she exclaimed, "cockroach hai yahan pe!!"

Then began the hunt. I got ready for the kill.

Step one: Search for chappal, bathroom slippers nahi chalega...
Proper chappals so that the insides of the insect do not spoil the newly acquired 100 buck footwear. It is always good to carry your weapon...cos some of them fly, cockroaches I mean..
Sadly no one has invented a weapon to kill them, HIT kills you more than the cockroach and then you feel you might as well let it live...

Step two: Brooms are of good use, to beat anyone for that matter..But this step is to first search for the 'roach (cocky doesn sound good so...) every possible place, under the table, behind curtains..they love corners but are very restless, keep running back and forth, run behind them.
If they go into those godforsaken nooks and corners, follow them. Remember, that thing is your aim. Its hit and win!

Step three: Dont give up. You will always have other ppl around you, active audience in terms of " abey vahan hai, idhar hai.. kya kar rahi ha yaar, dekh bhaag gaya phir se..saala" ('roaches are always addressed with the male norms of name calling, hmmm..)
Dont lose focus..

Step four: Now that you have wasted too much time, catch the damn thing! Hit ones, it will look at you, with an extremely boring expression and say

'roach- "Dude Wassup?"
Me- "Bloody thats exactly where Iam gonna send you, up!"

'roach- " heheheehe" (runs)
Me- bloody!

'roach- "catch me if you can!"
Me- phat! phat! phat! catch me if you can, it seems! phew..

'roach-wriggles, stirs, antennae squashed, eyes displaced..
but smirk intact..
Me-phat!

'roach-no movement, dead and gone...RIP

Over...
wait..

Step five: look for accomplices...they never attack alone..
If you find some more...repeat step 1 to 5..

Step six: throw the crap in the dustbin, use paper....give it a 'whatever' look

Step seven: Let the victory sink in, rejoice! ;)

Well, now that I have provided you with a comprehensive guide 'to kill a mocking cockroach', I hope my services would not be required anymore, right Ms Ree?
You did a pretty good job in the morning, I heard...

I hope next time "Cockroach!! Where is Sadie??" will not be uttered in the same breath....

MT
Pest control Dept.

Maaaa...

The reason for this post is evident from the title.. But it is even more important at this point of time as amma turns another year young! (She just told me to switch off the TV, by the way)

So, aaj se kaafi saal pehle, inka janam hua tha aur inke kaaran hamara.. Unnecessary, but Iam too self centered.. But what to do, she gave the world what it needed at the right time.. Modesty aint my cup of tea.. I digress..

At the break of dawn, she wakes up and makes tea, without sugar these days, and drinks. if you thought you would get some pati vrata types, you are terribly mistaken..Appa thankfully understands. She is someone who every other person looks up to, age no bar. She is like the friend,philosopher,guide for those who have lost their way..

Our sir in college once asked us to write five lines about mother. My first line was "she cooks yummy food", welcome to a PG student's communication theory notebook. Well, she does cook like herself! which is amazing..no comparison. Now that I live in a hostel, I miss her dosas big time, crisp,roasted..heaven served in a platter.

My second line was " She buys me clothes".. Nope, I hate shopping. But whenever I run outta the 'appropriate' clothes for a girl, she decides for a wardrobe malfunction! But the point is, we like the same things, so no fighting in front of the salesman..

My third line read " She is beautiful" .. That she is. where do you think I got it from, Fair and Lovely? I feel good when ppl say I look like her, actually I dont.. Men still drool when we go out to eat, not at the food of course! Very photogenic I must add. She is beautiful inside as well. VERY.....

My fourth line went something like " She sings like a nightingale" ..You should listen to Baabuji dheere chalna.. If your jaw doesnt touch the floor and your eyes remain wide open instead of going into semi meditation, I will renounce the world..Thats what she is all about. When she sings you will forget Worldspace. I mean it.

My fifth line was " She loves to work" ..always on her toes, running around with her tiny feet, she has reached places where ppl can only imagine or dream of.. She is an achiever. Someone who took everything in her stride and never let us feel like we did not have things others had. Material or otherwise. Very strong woman, an idol of sorts..

I wrote those five lines, while the rest of the class wrote stuff like, 'I miss her', 'she takes care of me', 'I can say anything to her', 'she is like my friend'...etc etc...
I wondered, I feel the same things but why could I never write, let alone tell her that I love her??

Maybe because she is annoying at times! Check this out:
Me: hi
Ma:late again..How many times have I told you to come home at six? (trust me, when she looks at you, eyes spitting fury, it seems like she knows what you have been upto, guilt or gut, she does know)

Me: How many times have I told you I cant. I have work. (basket ball and shine )
Ma: I dont know what college this is..blah blah blah...when are you ever gonna realise...some more blah

Phone rings. I walk away with it.
Ma: Pah! This phone also. This house is like a dharamshala for you, you come to sleep and eat. Iam gonna throw that mobile of yours.
Me: no response..

Not anymore..

Now that I dont live with her, I want someone to scold me when I come late, to ask if I have eaten, to wake me up (even if it means ramdev maharaj ka yoga lessons..chalega) ...to just be there.

I love you and care for you. Sorry for behaving like an idiot at times(beti kiski hai), I do miss all those conversations we have had about people, abt places and abt life.. I hate to admit but you do make sense.. Aapki hindi buri nahi hai!! he he
Thanks for everything and most importantly for giving me my name...

Maaa... Aaj Khush tho bahut hoge tum..;) (Amitabh Bachchan style)


"Happy Birthday" ;)...

Where Cocos Dare!

1:00 AM- Script done. members of grp. 4 heave a sigh of relief! Venue: Richa's Bed

1:30 AM- Gossip and bitching time!! Venue: My bed

Realisation dawns, tired eyes beg for sleep... Head says" woman! go to bed, you need to get up early!" Alarm set for 5, with utmost reluctance. ipod stares, calling out to be heard, I overlook it.
Push ppl outta my abode of dreams and nightmares, read that one msg that makes life beautiful, not once not twice but several times over. Smile at the fact that the someone misses you!! Eyes close..

5.00 AM-Alarm, no, irritaing alarm screams as my ear drum vibrates and I curse...It finally 'dawned' on me that I need to make some noise in order to wake up the others from thier long siesta!
Cut to Jayanagar 4 t block..clad in jackets, two hooded, one with no head no hood (yours truly!) We catch a rick to the bus stop, the dude drives like there is no tomorrow for either of us!
Anyway, Cut to bus stop. Sole bus standing, no sign of civilization. We spot the driver and ask him if the gaadi goes to madiwala, to our surprise he smiles! (Drivers and conductors in Karnataka smiling, that too this early in the morning, is a sign alien to non-natives) The dude says, take 660 c, it will take you directly to bommanahalli.. Our ultimate destination..

Oh by the way, we are on our way to this place called bommanahalli(boms henceforth), as part of our reccee for our docu! (sorry, delayed lead) in search of coconut mandi! coconut water vs aerated drinks being our topic...

So, this smile vala driver drops us off to another bus stop (dint take money from us, three girls going to coconut mandi in the wee hours of the morning is a rare sight! therefore...)To our own surprise, 660 c stops right in front of us! brush with luck...

We get in and first question Bhavu(thats what shriju calls her) asks and the one that only she could have asked" Kitni der lagegi paunchne mein? Thodi der so jao kya?" I nod. We reach. walk walk walk.. I yap on abt christ college and poor kids had no other choice but to listen to my excited and animated version of the pondi trip...as my voice trails and stomach aches..we realise we have come too far, coconut?!

Being inquisitive and lost helps..We ask for directions , as every other person we meet directs us to either the main road or well, to some place that is back of beyond. We take diversion, walk back and turn left.. Coconuts! some more, many more, LOTS!

Too happy with ourselves, like we discovered a new sea route to Venice, we walk faster towards this massive habitation of coconuts.. Bhavu says in her trademark tone "Apun hai na, yahan pe aise shoot karenge"... As the eyes of those innocent coco sellers widen at the word shoot and they tighten their grip over the long weird looking killer weapon that they use to chop coco heads..

We are surrounded by these coco sellers, asking us what we want. "Hum film banane aaye hai" adds Devi.. They all pounce. Multi lingual attack.. We take two steps backwards.. "Hindi a? Kannada?" We say in unison " English." feeling a tad guilty..

My stomach ache returns as my mouth waters, what with so many cocos around! Almost sensing it, the dude asks, "kitna hona?" again we say in chorus "teen,three,muru" Not guilty.. ;)
Free cocos, free cocos! We drink, talk to the dude and walk back with a sense of accompolishment! of what? I have no clue.. Nor do I wanna make sense outta the whole deal.
Somethings are better left like that..

8:00 AM- back to the hostel.. sleep like a log. to get up and blog!
Dream of the docu, hope it comes out well....It better..For we went to some godforsaken place where only cocos dare!!
Apun hai na ab yehi pe shoot karenge!! ;)

DON (t) watch it..

After a lot of deliberation and hardwork ( getting these girls outta the hostel 'properly clothed and made up' is a task, in a theatre the only light that falls on you is from the screen, and nobody is paying to look at you, I fail to understand the 'getting decked up for the movie' part)..we went to watch DON, well the remake..

So we enter, ads and more ads..I wait for that thing they put, that certificate saying Don (colour).. First scene, damn what was the first scene...hmmm..chunkey pandey and some other half-actor with Shahrukh khan, in a round table conference.. while my friend says 'yaar ye banda door se chunkey pandey lag raha hai', the whole row laughs, not cos of SRK's one liners, but cos of the innocence with which the question was posed!

Well polished furniture, amazing cars, skyscrapers et al.. what else would you expect, it was malaysia or singapore or some such place.. The remake part as far as technology is concerned, they did a brillaint job, using a dvd instead of a diary which holds info abt all the underworld bigwigs was a treat for the eyes..even though we were more often than not, reminded of the Tuxedo and Matrix! Action was pretty good, some dialogues were witty. SRK is a natural humourist so thats that. There was one scene just after khaike paan banaraswala... umm..watch it!

That reminds me, the songs!!! Integral part of Indian cinema.. ye mera dil pyar ka deewana! Kareena Kappoor flaunting all she has.. and she has too much to fit into 70mm..Pathetic, she was all over SRK in a million star hotel, in some golden tunic like thingie... i could hear myself snoring.. Helen and kareena, are you kidding me?! sorry but i just couldn take.. there was one ganapathi bappa song to introduce this other Don (in the original, the original Don dies and this other Amitabh enters) so this 'other' Don is called Vijay(same as my Don) i cant help but see Amitabh all over the screen, unfortunately for me, I remember every piece of clothing on him, so vividly that it hurts!!

Anyway, Khaike paan baraswala sounded like please dont eat paan ever! choreography was terrible, SRK looked like he was milking a cow and then mixing sugar! reverse angle.. oh the disco song which was replacement for main hoon don, is not even worth a mention.. aaj ki raat it seems!

The story was obviously the same, remake ke naam pe dhabba..Amitabh Bachchan cannot be replaced, in a remake or in KBC.. Biased? yes Iam.. if you give me a shoddy painting and say this is modern art when I have seen a masterpiece, I would not even spit on you..why waste it?

I might seem too harsh, but Farhan dint expect this from you, SRK couldn do much, his humour, his timing more like it, steals the show. Boman Irani again doesn dissapoint you, versatility personified. Someboby explain what Isha Koppikar and Priyanka Chopra were trying to do, definitely not acting.. I could actually see the director saying CUT!

So considering my expert advice and wisdom and this unbiased review of sorts I hope none of you would waste your precious hard earned money to go take a beauty nap, or be oblivious of the world in your siesta..
Mr. Bachchan I missed you terribly.. every scene, every sequence, every shot.. I could see, hear, feel only you....

Is Don ko sehna mushkil hi nahin, namumkin hai!!
Till later, DON' (T) watch it...