Step 2 was to buy tickets to Bangalore. Standing in a que, as long as the great wall of china, was hell. What with everyone wanting to go to Bangalore when we decided to, is not a very exciting idea. Luggage in hand, we stand! sounds like some motto of All India Coolies Association, but never mind. We get our tickets with details like 'adults 2' typed on it. I say to myself ha! atleast someone thinks I finally grew up! Step 3 search for platform 11, find, rest your ass on luggage and wait for train. I combined many steps in one, Reducing the therblig, you see!
The Train Arrives..sounds like my first year general english lesson Tar Arrives. Not good memory, just that I loved the chapter so much that I wrote the exam twice.So remember by default. The voluminous cluster of people try their luck in getting into the train, as another bunch tries to exit from the very same so-called "entrance". As we wonder whatever happened to birth control pills and condom ads! A scenario of "hum do hamare Sau" right in front of our eyes.. We let them all pass by and wait for the coast to clear so that we can make our grand entry.
And what a sight! An empty seat, just enough for the two of us to fit in. As we settle down, I look up to thank God for showering his blessings by letting us have a place to sit. Legs!! Yup. three pairs of dirty,unwaxed,hairy legs greet my Garnier face washed crystal clear face, as if god was saying You so wish woman!! Why dont men go to beauty parlours? i swear, i wont think they are gay, there is another word now, metrosexual!! so there! Welcome to the Unreserved compartment of Brindavan Express! I let myself digest all this and console poor me by saying, think about those who dint find a place to sit and that home is just a few hours away..
Hmmm..Blue saree, bejewelled from top to bottom, beautiful eyes smacked with kajal, an unforgettable face. This lady politely asks the old man and his wife to make space for her daughter and her as she sat right opposite me, I couldnt help but admire her beauty. Enter the guy with blood shot eyes..Red was never my favourite clour, more so now! Inebriated to the t! He asks the people upstairs if there is place to lie down.. are u kidding me? We are trying to fit our asses in here and this one wants to lie down? baap ka maal hai kya?
His question cum request is rightfully rejected and he lies down opposite our seat, under it..Gross. The train finally starts.I gaze outta the window as the old lady next to me gives me her radiant toothless smile, the ont that means lets talk. I oblige. We talk and my eyes move towards the man under the seat as he makes his private parts public! yucK! disgusting, i wanted to run. Then i thought why should i, he is as unreseved as iam and he is totally disgusting to top it.. I tell the damsel (no exaggeration, she was beautiful) to do something about it. She tells him to clear the area! phew! Good riddance to disgusting rubbish...
Then i go off to sleep and miss the entry of this hot guy in red shirt..did i say i never liked the colour?? It was like missing the beginning of an awesome Bachchan movie..But that doesn discourage me from watching the rest of the flick so i start the drooling session.I look, he looks. I feel happy that he dint notice i was looking.Once we were on deuce but the it was Advantage Saddy!! That was the only "not-so-comic-but-extremely-romantic-relief" in the whole plot. We finally reach our destination. I tell myself iam never ever travelling in an Unreserved compartment ever again.
No wonder everyone is fighting for reservation, well in trains Yes please! Iam gonna do a serious change in track ' records', next time around!!