Over 10 years ago, when I wrote my first ever post, I was a naive and hopeful idealist. I was hyper--in a good way, I hope--but very driven. I was a college kid, unaware or oblivious to the big bad world. I used to think everybody makes too much of a deal of 'you don't know how it is in the real world'. I used to believe, like everything else, I will figure it out.
My writing was what you would call childish, dreamy-eyed and filled with exaggerated exclamations, loud and colorful. That's not always a good thing. I quit being yuppie.
But 10 years hence, I am alert, aware and not living in the bubble of idealism. That bubble burst as soon as I realized that journalism, the kind I was getting into, is a business. And it was heartbreaking. My blinders were off and I did not like what I saw. I quit being an idealist.
Of all the things that I could have chosen, I picked something that did not come naturally to me. In fact, it was on the other side of the spectrum of what I could do: Technology. I didn't know what I was getting into but I knew if I took the plunge, I would at least discover something new, if nothing else. I gave myself the benefit of doubt. I quit being a naysayer.
Sometimes at work, as in life, you have to do things you don't believe in. Like writing for customers not readers, like glorifying something that's as dull as dust, like learning grammar from people who can't spell their own names. You have to shift your principles to another part of your brain where a small voice says, 'it's just a job, don't take it so seriously'. Grudgingly, you learn to do that. It takes a while but you get there. I quit being stubborn.
In spite of quitting everything that defined me, when I didn't get what I deserved, when ideas were thrown out of the window, when beliefs were banished and when your efforts didn't make a difference, you know that its time to hang your boots. I quit quitting.