Yes, I know. I know I have written this several times over and some more. But now its not for me. This is for a dear friend who is special in a special way, someone whose poetry goes beyond mere words, someone whose writing amazes me every time I read it and someone who I have grown to admire each passing day. But, this is not about her. Its about what she feels and what she feels is important.
This seems like its going nowhere, but it is. We always have questions, I have many, all the time about everything. Some of my questions hardly have an answer, when i cant find them, I write. I also write when I find them. Questions like why people meet when they have to part? Or why people decide that its time they parted ways? And when they do come back for whatever reason, what do you do? Welcome them with arms wide open or say screw you too?
No, its not about love. Not at all. Its about friendship and the love within. Ok that sounds weird, I shall rephrase. Its about memories, gathered, nurtured, fallen and gathered again. Enough and more to fill a life time. 'Memories' is not a plural of 'memory'.
What do you do when a friend walks out on you? A friend who meant more than life itself, who meant music beyond orchestra, who meant poetry beyond prima facie phrases, who meant all that and much more. You go back to all those songs that dint mean the same once. Those conversations that lasted hours, when time was just another word. So now are they all meaningless? Or had I forgotten that nothing lasts forever? Or was I expecting too much?
What do you say when they tell you 'I dont feel the closeness anymore, I have changed, not you?' without realizing that everything changes for the 'you' post-profound-statement... It happened to me, not once but several times over, it happened to her and I am sure it happens to you too...But only because something happens so often it doesn't mean life is like that! Or maybe it does, I don't know.
My best friends have walked out, moved away, without a warning, a sign or a signal. But if you know them well enough, you would understand that they have better things to do than making memories with you. Thats a sign, you choose to ignore. Well, I chose to ignore.
I was telling her, I cant write about this cos my wounds have healed or i have scratched them so bad that they don't bleed anymore. I am immune, or so I thought. Her wounds are fresh, mine don't seem any different. But i am only wounded, not dead yet! Neither is she.
Life goes on, people change, you change too. Sorry for sounding like an introductory paragraph of some crappy psycho book, but its true. What remains is the M word. What do you do with those?
For you, my friend I have only this to say:
'Meet and part is the scheme of life, Part and meet is the hope of life'
Shit happens. We need to learn how to flush, now and again and forever.
13 comments:
Sometimes I've thought about that too.. that when someone is no longer in your life, does that mean all that you shared is now meaningless?
If you your friendship is divided by hate then all the time spent together goes off in a puff of smoke.
Sometimes, you just dont know wht the reasons are and u feel like the memories are like old jewellery that you must preserve.
But the only solution is..as u have pointed out.. flush and move on. we will still make mistakes and still long for friends who can fill up that space but let that be a new chapter. no good ever comes of hanging on to the past.
this post has hurt me!!! more than any other one of ures. its painfully and brutally honest!!!
circumstances is all I can say for friends parting ways!!! but it doesnt mean that we cant work things out still.. we have come past so many things CHRIST knows!!!
I dont think its ever tooo late!! I love u more than u knoe!! muuaahhh
flush out?? move on?? can we MT ?? ever?? it would be unfair to all those million times we've thanked god for the M word... there is a certain part of me that the M word has touched and occupied, its beyong flushing. Its not hanging on to a memory thats no more cos there was nothing wrong that happened no harsh words said no argument that caused the break... It was just time that chose to be more than just another word
For Now thank u... for seeing what i see and knowing what im going through. U gave me a much needed acceptance with the post. Shit happens and im sure going to be better off
I think the difficult thing in life is to decide when to call it quits and move ahead in life. Because sometimes you always feel that you can put effort and again get things working. Or you can just move on and maybe meet new interesting people.
@ujju Its easier said, sometimes i feel i just wrote it so that next time someone walks out, i will come back and read this!
@Tsu and I love you more than you know who! ;)
@Angel you are my angel, you're my darling angel! my pleasure...we can da, if we want to, its difficult but not impossible..
@goli yes i agree, but why quit at all? its not always mutual you know! thats the difficult part..
MT.. people move on, not because they have better things to do, but because they have more people who's lives they haven't touched yet..
i have no clue where you're coming from, that much is obvious, but i can see there has been a lot of soul searching involved in the post..
miss ya..
BAsically you say you have become aneamic?
ok do one thing eat lot of apple...
Brilliant pun Tsu... You make me proud...
That seemed like a friend if mine writing for me! Totally relate to it!
It is not about love - absolutely true.. And to a certain extent I fail to understand the play of priorities in the whole matter.. And also the expectations that unknowingly comes into picture.
@ pricky this post is not for the kind attention of people who choose only to pun and not read the thoughts behind words!!
@Candid confessions ... i have the same feeling, join the club
@vodka... u can still touch the lives of others without having to move out of teh lives of those u already have touched, emotions are not rationed commodities that will run out of stock
so does that mean you are directing me off your blog?
huh?
@Vodka I second Angel, we dont need to bypass friends to stretch a hand toward strangers
@Candid There is a saying that goes, 'Never Expect, Keep Giving, Keep Living'... For how long and why?
@Pricky Why would I do that? aneamia can be cured by eating apples, not friends who become strangers.
the point is can you forgive those who walk out, not hold it against them that they've changed and still cherish those memories?
I used to think that once a person walks out on you,you should stop caring. But it doesn't work like that does it? It might hurt that they don't feel for you what you feel for them, BUT that does not make all those memories less beautiful. The past, will remain, no matter what you do.
So when you can accept that you are not an active part of their life anymore, for whatever reasons, but you don't hold that against them, and still smile at the good times had, that is called moving on.
And no, no shit involved there.
why did i never say anything abt this then...?
ur not here...i have taken to haunting the u that was...
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