Me Thinks Me Weird!

Rules are:
* Each player starts with eight random facts/habits about themselves.

* People who are tagged need to write posts in their own blog about their eight things and post these rules.

* At the end of your post, you need to choose eight people to get tagged and list their names.

This is something I would have done anyway... But now this becomes important as I had been tagged by none other than someone who won the 'Thinking Blogger Award'...

1. I hate the rain. It depresses me.

2. I dont know how to start a conversation with girls, I feel extremely awkward. Iam more than comfortable with the guys, unfortunately for them.

3. Writing gives me a high..its so intoxicating that I can do it all my life. Iam addicted to it.


4. Iam in love with Amitabh Bachchan and I strongly believe I was related to him romantically ;) in the previous birth.


5. I like pain, physical pain. I think it gives me endurance. It makes me stronger, it tests my limits.


6. I have weird mood swings. I might be extremely happy, enthusiastic, on top of the world and then miserable, angry, upset, depressed, irritated the next minute.


7. I think I have a learning disorder, Iam technologically challenged.


8. I wish I was a guy.



I tag:

Nothin Within

Reema

Cosmos

Richa

Chicane Cruiser

Anand

Mad Angel

cant think of more people...

Just 8 cms Away......

What did the tall chimney tell the small chimney?

" You are too young to smoke"

Not a milllion dollar question, not a wisecrack, just an old joke. But why now? why today???

Today is a special day...two reasons:
Today is one of my closest friend's birthday..Happy Birthday Cosmos...

The second reason is something I have been toying with. I dont know if this is the appropriate place, all I know is that this is the most appropriate time..

Cigarrette smoking is injurious to health, words marked in red. The one who sells cant read, the one who can read, chooses not to. I shall not go into its ill-effects, not because its oft-repeated but because that is not my objective here.

It causes Cancer, infertility, leukemia and several other life threatening complications, but who cares? thats not the objective, like I said. Thats all just in the books or on TV where the style statement on 70mm, turns into a public service message. But again who cares?

I do. I am a self-confessed passive smoker. I have a chimney at home.
The chimney for smoke uses an 8 cm long nicotine filled stick-like object, which needs a matchstick or the more sophisticated, lighter to burn. This results in a sensation that gives you a high and for those like me, gives a rock bottom all-time low.

It burns the lungs, takes the life outta you and they call it 'stress-buster'..
Even I can smoke if I want to, but unlike those who do, I have this very irresistable urge to live.
Smoking, I guess wont give me that high!

They say there are ways to control it. Hong Kong has recently developed an e-cigarette. Then there is hypnosis and then there are several other alternatives. But the point is, unless one wants to leave it for good, he/she wouldn take any of these steps. Saif ALi Khan complained of chest pain and was admitted to the hospital recently. The reason: excessive smoking. Are you waiting for that warning? Oh but again, thats not the objective.

Appa, this is the last time. I want you to be there to see your grand-children grow. Thats a very dramatic dialogue, but if this doesn't work, nothing would. I know how much a goldflake, or kings as you so very lovingly call it, costs. No. Not 30 bucks. It costs life. Is it worth it?

Is that 8 cm long piece of lifeless crap more precious?

The choice is still yours, we are still at a distance.... just 8 cms away...

Bridge the gap... just 8 cms away...

This is an appeal, if this doesnt work...nothing would....
Nothing ever would....

Just 8 cms away....Appa...

Happy No Tobacco Day....

The IS and the WAS

Its been a really long time since I posted. No net connection and the most limited access to the web world will have to take the blame.

I am in the city I was born in, therefore it would be right to say that it holds a lot of memories of my childhood ranging from amazing to awful. But the point is, I am back to where I thought I belonged. Maybe, maybe not.

Six years and so much has changed. The roads are brilliant, flyovers have made distances seem near negligible. CNG vehicles have reduced pollution considerably. Incessant honking, unnecessary howling has been almost done away with, almost. It exists, here and there. Malls and some more malls now 'aaram se' sit pretty on those encroached government paths that came under the sealing drive. All of that is legal, by the way. Traffic police have more power than the Prime Minister and rightly so, you dont wear a helmet, pay 600 bucks fine, your pillion without a helmet pay some more! Now, drunk driving, talking on the phone and smoking while driving all amount to fines and a better half of your life chakki peesing. not so 'fine'!!

So much and some more. Auto guys are second only to the underworld, they wont come where you wanna go, their rates are so exhorbitant that even Chidambaram would agree with their inflation excuse! "madam mehangaayi itni badh gayi hai, bachchon ko kya khilayenge?" But they are the best source for info and have an opinion about everything. "Ab to Mayawati aa gayin na, dekhna sonia nahi tikegi, ye sab badal jaayega." I smile and he nods in acknowledgement, we communicate through the rear view mirror. Buses are fun, people sleep and continue sleeping even if the bus bumps over the speed breaker several times over, I am amazed at their impeccable balance. Metro !!! Simply rocks, the system is so user friendly that any idiot like me can travel without any hassles. well maintained and absolutely spotless..

So much has not. Shopkeepers are still open to bargaining, " Bhaiya kya yaar, hum phir aayenge na, dene ka daam bolo," he will make a face and then say with utmost respect "le jaiye madam, ab bhi kya yaad rakhengi" ...
I still hate to shop. Palika bazar and janpath invite those who love to empty their pockets to the temptations of every day life at a much cheaper price. Rightly so.

People are the same, the warmth exists, the " haan jis and namaste ji's " "kya haal hai?" " aaj to tum chaa gaye!", People you have met just yesterday, remember your name and if they cant, the guilt and disappointment is more than obvious on their sweating faces. Beat the heat, how, nobody has figured out yet. Life still goes on, come wind, rain or hailstorm.

BUT..

There is always a 'but'. Delhi is not home, Delhi is not where i see myself settling down (actually i dont see myself 'settling down' at all!) , Delhi was once the place i always wanted to be, Delhi was once my home. Period.

Bangalore with all its traffic jams, lazy people, slower than a snail life, is where I belong... Bangalore with all its inadequacies, Bangalore with christ college, Bangalore with Sri Sri, Bangalore with so much and not so much.
Bangalore is home....

Delhi WAS.

Bangalore IS.

And there lies the difference....

BREAKING NEWS.....

It happened then,
without a warning
all of a sudden
out of the blue

When things hit you,
asking for evidence
of your existence

Claustrophobic this
very being,
inside me, deep within
scars piled up,
scathing, unseeing

Who would want to know?
Who would want to know?
This breaking news?
Any takers??

No sunshine
No drops of dew
A crack enveloped
in the fourth chamber

Complicated, Confused
wanting to reveal
the purpose of survival
in every new reel

But...
who would want to know?
who would want to know?
This breaking news?
Any takers??

Any takers??

Pappu Pass Ho Gaya!

Black Board in class 4 A reads

: Write an essay on "My ambition In life"

With a pen in my hand and another hand scratching my head, I think about what this word can possibly mean.. Hmmm.. ambition I thought was something that you want to do, some vocation that you want to take up that would give you immense pleasure.

I wrote "I want to be a bus conductor. He is the most powerful person because when he taps on the door, the bus stops, when he whistles, girls dont feel bad and boys obey." Blame it on the innocence of that age.

Class 5 A
Black Board reads same as above. (The education system lacks innovation)

I wrote " I want to be a washerman (dhobi, well I was never gender specific). I like riding on cycles and he is one guy I always see with one. Even milkmen carry milk on their cycles but then who will get up so early in the morning?"

Class 6 A
Essays stopped. I continued writing though. I wanted to be an athelete. Win the olympics, bring back gold medals for my country. I ran and ran for years...But then had to stop. Reluctantly I did stop, the feet did, that is. The pen did not.

Classes came and went. What I wanted to become, what I wanted to achieve, changed almost every year. I was so lost that I dint know where I was going! ( thats what lost means, actually!)
Then I wanted to join the army, there are things that always remain a distant dream.. I guess I dont have it in me!

All through ''MeinKampf" my pen stood the test of time...I know way to textbookie this line, nevertheless, I shall use it.
I wanted this, I wanted that. Ambition then became as small as just being able to cross the road, tell a friend Iam sorry, tell someone that I love them, remember the names of newly elected ministers, newly etched out states in my country's map, finish an assignment, bring out lab journal before deadline, find time to miss people and tell them that I miss them.

Ambition meant fighting with my brother for the remote, winning it without getting hurt!
It meant writing a headline for a story which made no sense
Writing a story, rewriting the same story
attempting exams
And much more....

It was always about reaching and reaching out
It was always about getting there
It was always about beginning something

It was always about screwing up an interview by saying " I have a father, a mother and a brother!" (like the rest of the population has multiple parents!)

It was always about getting away with it...
Abhi to bus trailer nikali hai, picture to ab bhi baaki hai...
filhaal...
Pappu Pass Ho Gaya!

ILLUSION

The feeling, the need, the touch

of triumph, of glory, of achievement,

of fate.

Of belief, of certainity, of faith, of destiny

of modesty, of grace

of immortality, of imagination,

of folly, of fault, of reason.

Of the flowers, the wind, the rain,

of the sun, the sea, the seasons

Of time, of money, of power

of passion, of lust, of love.

of miles and miles of nothingness.

Of living, of life, of death.

of the frailities of mankind

of the tryst in the body, the soul and the mind.

Of logic, of emotion

of the void within

of the vaccum without

of the dreams that did not see the light of the day

of reality that seems so far away.

Of all that could have been

of all that actually is

of me, of myself, of the alter ego.

Of the illusion I refuse to see

Of the illusion that is me.

PS. Penned at a boring Press conference

To Sir, With Love

Selection for sports meet..

Represent house on Sports Day
Scorching heat on a summer morning, MT and kids from other classes line up...

"7th B-MT?"

MT steps forward-
DK sir-" Too short, you wont be visible if you carry the flag, ye to dikhegi hi nahi, Negi sir, kya karein?"

Negi Sir- "Nikaal do, next"

Trials again...next morning
MT stands watching the proceedings...a not-so-silent-spectator..

Negi sir- "7th B?"
MT- "yes sir"
NS- "class monitor?"
MT-"yes sir"
NS- "unko aur koi nahi mila kya?"
MT-"no sir"
NS-"Bhaagna hai tumko?"
MT-"yes sir"
NS-" tum yes sir aur no sir ke alava kuch bolti ho?"
MT-"yes sir"
NS-" sports room se whistle leke aao, I will time you, 40 secs..."
MT-"yes sir"

MT never wears a watch, time is never in her hands..in nobody's hands, for that matter..
returns after 45 secs...

NS-"5 second late, hmmm, kya kare tumhare saath?"
MT-" Sir aapki whistle kho gayi thi, dustbin ke paas padi thi"
NS-"no excuses"
MT-"Yes sir"

Awkward silence follows as Sir plays with the idea of including MT in the relay team, hurdles team and 200 mtrs....

MT-"sir aur kuch lana hai sports room se?"
NS-"nahi, DK sir se poocho flag kahan hai"
MT-"sir sports room mein table pe pada hai, lekar aau, is baar 40 secs...
NS-"run"

MT runs, returns with flag in hand, dot 40 secs....

NS-"good, hurdles kiya hai kabhi?"
MT-"No sir"
NS-"hmmmm...."
MT-"Seekh lungi sir, flag uthane dijiye"
NS-"tum abhi aur kya uthakar laayi thi?"
MT smiles...does a triumphant dance on her way back to class...

Sports Day
Prahalad House
March Past...flag in hand, following Amit Bhaiya, Head boy and MT's mentor...
"eyes right...... left, right, left...."

Prahalad house loses to Eklavya....

200 mtrs
On your mark, get set, whistle....

MT runs....runs, runs, still running...
Shravan house wins
Eklavya house wins
MT comes Third...

break...

DK sir: "kaha tha na negi, isko kyun liya? she was reperesenting the house, mazaak nahi hai.."
NS-"Hurdles baaki hai, abhi bachche ko kuch mat bolo.."
DK-Nods in disagreement.." is baar bhi hum eklavya se haar jaayenge, itni choti si hai, khudegi kaise, phas jaayegi.."
NS-"dekhte hai"
NS to MT
"Tumko pata hai kya karna hai? DK doesnt like you much and you know that, all the best"
MT-extremely short of confidence, guilty of letting house down, walks towards the start line, takes stance, waits for the whistle that would decide her journey through hurdles.....

"On your mark, get set, whistle"

MT runs........First hurdle- success,position third

Second hurdle- success, position third

Third hurdle- lace open, falls, position negligible

removes shoe, runs like there is no tmrw...

Fourth hurdle- success, position second

finish line.............position one

MT falls, this time in happiness, in the joy of conquering the fourth hurdle...
Prahalad house beats Eklavya finally....

NS-"DK sir doesnt like you at all...."
MT-"Thank you sir"

Today is Negi Sir's birthday....

Moral of the story..."It doesn matter how many times you fell, what matters is how many times you got up"

Thank You Sir....

Abhi bachche ko kuch mat bolo....

Rain Rain Go Away...

pitter patter, pitter patter
...drops fall on the ground...
...fragrance of wet earth fillling your lungs!
you feel like you just refreshed a page that cannot be displayed..(kill joy, thats me)
AHA! experience in other words....

you feel a sense of freedom, you feel like lifting your arms up, wide open....Liberation
you wanna fly, with no care in the world...
for, its raining...

I remember, when I was in school, kids used to love the rain cos that would mean, wet ground and no assembly, no monitoring, no long speech, no punishment...

I remember, when I used to return from school, kids used to love getting wet..soaked from head to toe...wet uniform, will catch cold so school ki chutti....far fetched, but hope is a free entity..

I remember, rain always brought with it truck loads of excitement...people rush to their balconies, windows, doors just to get a glimpse of how cluttered drops of water, flushed from above somewhere, look...

Sky spitting like there is no tmrw.....

I remember, in college, the first time we had a heart-to-heart...it rained
we got acquainted in the midst of an unknown, uninterested crowd, showers our only other listener....

Parted ways...it rained...friends used to tell me 'see, even God is crying!'
Football match...it rained...
Final Farewell...last day...it rained....

It poured everytime I wanted to play, everytime I wanted to go out,everytime i wanted to eat ice cream, everytime I wanted to meet someone, everytime I.... everytime I just wanted to be me....

I never liked the rain....it means nothing to me..my life stops for those few seconds, minutes, hours....

why?

why?

Drops of water create slush,muddy-muddy, dirty dirty....
Watching the rain depresses me.....
Talking abt it upsets me...
It bounds me...liberation ends....

why?

I have no idea...

Rain Rain Go Away
come again another day
Little 'me' want to play

Rain Rain Go Away....

This post has been written and deleted several times....

The Rain never goes away..my streets are flooded......STILL

Rain Rain Go Away..

Saleem aur Anarkali....A Sad Attempt...

Saleem: aapki razza kya hai mohtarma?
aapki khidmad me haazir
hain hum
Anarkali:aap hamari khidmad me kuchh shaayari pesh keejiye...

Saleem: Shaayari ki baat na kar ai husn ki begairat adaa waali
tere husn ki jhalak ne ek vaar kiya is aashiq par
ki mujrim karaar kar diya duniya ne.
Anarkali: agar hum laila hote aur aap majnu
to aapka ye kalaam sunkar hum bahut pahle hi
so gaye hote.
achchha hua galib pahle hi khuda ki mehfil ko rawaana ho gaye

Saleem: iis kadar beinteha nafrat kyon hai?
dard to hume pata nahin chalta aur mehsoos sirf aapki judayi hoti hai lekin
dard to mera ek ehsaas hai
Anarkali: wah wah!!!

Salim: Saza manzoor hai mujhe par itni nafrat kyon?
Anarkali: aapse koi nafrat kare bhi to kaise, koshish to bahut kee
par nafrat hume hi ho gayi khud se

Saleem: oh kya kahna mere mahboob ka,
nafrat to ek nagma hai jo aapke
ashkon pe saja hai.
Anarkali: vo aapke liye nahi hai
us nafrat ke haqdaar to vo the jo hume chod ke chale gaye
ab unse bhi kya nafrat karna jo is kabil bhi nahi.
waise aapke liye to jaan hazir hai ek bar
aazma kar to dekhiye.

Saleem: aapki jaan ko to hum kabhi nahin aazmayenge
har ek saans me ek ajab si masti hai jo jeete hue hi parakh lenge hum
wo kaam hum par chhod deejiye
Anarkali: tum par to humne sab kuchh hi chhod diya hai
ab hamare paas kuchh nahi hai.

Saleem: are ek mouka to do mujhe.
Anarkali: Mauka dene vaale hum kaun hote hai
mauke to hume dekh kar log lete hai...

Ab aage hum likhe bhi to kya likhe...
hamare paas to alfaaz hi itne kam hai..
jitna zindagi ke paas hamare liye waqt kam hai..

Disclaimer: The views and opinions expressed in this post are fictional. Any resemblance with any person living or dead is purely coincidental. This is a sad attempt by two jobless people. Names will not be disclosed for security reasons.

Caution: Joblessness can be dangerous.

End Of Scene # 5

Location:Richa's bed
Namoone: Pink, Devi, MT
The room is filled with notes, bits of paper scattered all over... bits of what has been said in class written on the edges of the freshly touched paper...
Scene #1 ( never mind the act, we are always in nautanki mode)
Time: 12:00 am

MT: nazism in germany blah blah blah...
Pink: whats a concentration camp?
MT: Jews, gas, naked, 6 million exterminated
Pink: (Eyes wide open almost touching the floor) Shit! how could he?
Devi: Thats what happened. But why are we talking abt Hitler now?

MT: you should read Diary of Anne Frank...
Devi:yes yes. I want a copy of that one. By the way, have you finished UAE?
Pink: Mujhe to neend aa rahi hai yaar, chaar baje uthke padhai karein?
MT, Devi: (mumble, like thats gonna happen) Nahi..

Scene #2
Time: 12:45
Namoone talk abt the status of women in UAE and the flexi time facilities that they get, maternity leave and the fact that the country is prosperous because of its natural wealth...
Read read and read. Mutual agreement to close UAE and get on with the family life in USA...

Pink: kya bakwaas hai? Divorce rates are so high, there is more remarriage than marriage.
MT: Yeah. The basis of their relationship is love you see, and they dont need consent of their parents or relatives to get into matrimony...
Devi: Single parent is the order of the day. The kids there are 4 times more detached from both their parents than in India...
Pink: (Reads ) Children move out at the age of 18, till then they are supported by their parents..hey thats why they are so independent...
MT: and also stressed out...
Devi: Yaar tumne modernization kiya?
MT: Kuch bhi nahi kiya. Kal bhi vaat lagegi sabki...I think we should just do traits of a modern person...

Scene # 3
Time: 1:30
Devi is dozing. Richa wants to sleep. MT and Pink vacate bed. Shift to MT's room, umm drawing room..hall..whatever you wanna call it..
Pink: yaar ab to bahut raat ho gayi..
MT: Kahan yaar, abhi to din shuru hua hai...
Pink glares at MT, latter gets the shut-up-or-i-will-hit-you-signal, takes out notes that say "Confrontation with Pakistan"....
Silence....

MT: I think both India and Pak are to blame, India is too proud of hinduism as a way of life- brahmin blah blah, Pak wants all muslim majority areas, we give kashmir they ask for assam, we give Assam, they will ask for hyderabad...Completion of pakistan is a farce, its not possible...But I feel, the reason why the firangs came here was primarily because of the wealth we had, spices etc included... We were too engulfed in vanity, that we lost track of what was happening around the world...apne pair pe kulhadi marna types...
Pink: (sleep does the vanishing act) No. I dont agree. The state of muslims in Pakistan is much worse than that of Indian muslims....
MT:hmm..to yahan pe vo kaunse aabad hai?
Pink: Yawn...so jaaye kya?

Scene # 4
Time:2:15
MT: Reads- A modern person should accept change, should have traits of self-efficacy, yawn...
Pink:dekha!
MT: Sets alarm. Nahi uthungi main..I know..
Pink:Main hoon na..don worry I will wake you up...Pukka

Scene # 5
Time: 2:30
Pink runs off like a small kid who has just finished her homework..
while MT ponders....

Clothes lying in the bathroom, dirty linen, needs a wash

India won the second one-dayer (MT smiles)

Need to finish corruption , 10 marks

India-pak confrontation, 10 marks

Alumni day after, no, not day after, tomorrow...

That would be 26th Jan. '07

Hmmm...

India ponders...

Dirty linen needs a wash

Need to finish corruption, sounds like an out of syllabus question?

India-Pak confrontation, a question mark in itself...

Alumni today- Names decorated on India Gate...

Amar Jawan Jyoti...salute...

Tujhe hai pukara......


26th Jan. '07

End Of scene # 5

The Cockroach Saga

When God created man...
woman
plants
nature
animals
blah
blah
reptiles
everything was still heaven.....
Inspite of the introduction of Man...

until....
the advent of the insects....
Cockroaches came, saw, conquered
and all hell broke loose....

The problem is not with their existance, it is with infringment. I have butcherd many, beaten them to pulp. Literally took the life outta them, but they refuse to leave. They have taken a liking to the vicinity that I understand as mine.

The other day, a couple of cockroaches trespassed into the media lab, I mean what guts! Entering the very same area that the rest of the world detests....
Ree screams at the top of her lungs, 'Yuck!' mumm mumm mumm... thats how she blabbers at times...
"Sadie cockroach!" I was like, what?! I was stick insect first and now Iam cockroach, as I rehearsed which gaali to use, she exclaimed, "cockroach hai yahan pe!!"

Then began the hunt. I got ready for the kill.

Step one: Search for chappal, bathroom slippers nahi chalega...
Proper chappals so that the insides of the insect do not spoil the newly acquired 100 buck footwear. It is always good to carry your weapon...cos some of them fly, cockroaches I mean..
Sadly no one has invented a weapon to kill them, HIT kills you more than the cockroach and then you feel you might as well let it live...

Step two: Brooms are of good use, to beat anyone for that matter..But this step is to first search for the 'roach (cocky doesn sound good so...) every possible place, under the table, behind curtains..they love corners but are very restless, keep running back and forth, run behind them.
If they go into those godforsaken nooks and corners, follow them. Remember, that thing is your aim. Its hit and win!

Step three: Dont give up. You will always have other ppl around you, active audience in terms of " abey vahan hai, idhar hai.. kya kar rahi ha yaar, dekh bhaag gaya phir se..saala" ('roaches are always addressed with the male norms of name calling, hmmm..)
Dont lose focus..

Step four: Now that you have wasted too much time, catch the damn thing! Hit ones, it will look at you, with an extremely boring expression and say

'roach- "Dude Wassup?"
Me- "Bloody thats exactly where Iam gonna send you, up!"

'roach- " heheheehe" (runs)
Me- bloody!

'roach- "catch me if you can!"
Me- phat! phat! phat! catch me if you can, it seems! phew..

'roach-wriggles, stirs, antennae squashed, eyes displaced..
but smirk intact..
Me-phat!

'roach-no movement, dead and gone...RIP

Over...
wait..

Step five: look for accomplices...they never attack alone..
If you find some more...repeat step 1 to 5..

Step six: throw the crap in the dustbin, use paper....give it a 'whatever' look

Step seven: Let the victory sink in, rejoice! ;)

Well, now that I have provided you with a comprehensive guide 'to kill a mocking cockroach', I hope my services would not be required anymore, right Ms Ree?
You did a pretty good job in the morning, I heard...

I hope next time "Cockroach!! Where is Sadie??" will not be uttered in the same breath....

MT
Pest control Dept.

Maaaa...

The reason for this post is evident from the title.. But it is even more important at this point of time as amma turns another year young! (She just told me to switch off the TV, by the way)

So, aaj se kaafi saal pehle, inka janam hua tha aur inke kaaran hamara.. Unnecessary, but Iam too self centered.. But what to do, she gave the world what it needed at the right time.. Modesty aint my cup of tea.. I digress..

At the break of dawn, she wakes up and makes tea, without sugar these days, and drinks. if you thought you would get some pati vrata types, you are terribly mistaken..Appa thankfully understands. She is someone who every other person looks up to, age no bar. She is like the friend,philosopher,guide for those who have lost their way..

Our sir in college once asked us to write five lines about mother. My first line was "she cooks yummy food", welcome to a PG student's communication theory notebook. Well, she does cook like herself! which is amazing..no comparison. Now that I live in a hostel, I miss her dosas big time, crisp,roasted..heaven served in a platter.

My second line was " She buys me clothes".. Nope, I hate shopping. But whenever I run outta the 'appropriate' clothes for a girl, she decides for a wardrobe malfunction! But the point is, we like the same things, so no fighting in front of the salesman..

My third line read " She is beautiful" .. That she is. where do you think I got it from, Fair and Lovely? I feel good when ppl say I look like her, actually I dont.. Men still drool when we go out to eat, not at the food of course! Very photogenic I must add. She is beautiful inside as well. VERY.....

My fourth line went something like " She sings like a nightingale" ..You should listen to Baabuji dheere chalna.. If your jaw doesnt touch the floor and your eyes remain wide open instead of going into semi meditation, I will renounce the world..Thats what she is all about. When she sings you will forget Worldspace. I mean it.

My fifth line was " She loves to work" ..always on her toes, running around with her tiny feet, she has reached places where ppl can only imagine or dream of.. She is an achiever. Someone who took everything in her stride and never let us feel like we did not have things others had. Material or otherwise. Very strong woman, an idol of sorts..

I wrote those five lines, while the rest of the class wrote stuff like, 'I miss her', 'she takes care of me', 'I can say anything to her', 'she is like my friend'...etc etc...
I wondered, I feel the same things but why could I never write, let alone tell her that I love her??

Maybe because she is annoying at times! Check this out:
Me: hi
Ma:late again..How many times have I told you to come home at six? (trust me, when she looks at you, eyes spitting fury, it seems like she knows what you have been upto, guilt or gut, she does know)

Me: How many times have I told you I cant. I have work. (basket ball and shine )
Ma: I dont know what college this is..blah blah blah...when are you ever gonna realise...some more blah

Phone rings. I walk away with it.
Ma: Pah! This phone also. This house is like a dharamshala for you, you come to sleep and eat. Iam gonna throw that mobile of yours.
Me: no response..

Not anymore..

Now that I dont live with her, I want someone to scold me when I come late, to ask if I have eaten, to wake me up (even if it means ramdev maharaj ka yoga lessons..chalega) ...to just be there.

I love you and care for you. Sorry for behaving like an idiot at times(beti kiski hai), I do miss all those conversations we have had about people, abt places and abt life.. I hate to admit but you do make sense.. Aapki hindi buri nahi hai!! he he
Thanks for everything and most importantly for giving me my name...

Maaa... Aaj Khush tho bahut hoge tum..;) (Amitabh Bachchan style)


"Happy Birthday" ;)...

Where Cocos Dare!

1:00 AM- Script done. members of grp. 4 heave a sigh of relief! Venue: Richa's Bed

1:30 AM- Gossip and bitching time!! Venue: My bed

Realisation dawns, tired eyes beg for sleep... Head says" woman! go to bed, you need to get up early!" Alarm set for 5, with utmost reluctance. ipod stares, calling out to be heard, I overlook it.
Push ppl outta my abode of dreams and nightmares, read that one msg that makes life beautiful, not once not twice but several times over. Smile at the fact that the someone misses you!! Eyes close..

5.00 AM-Alarm, no, irritaing alarm screams as my ear drum vibrates and I curse...It finally 'dawned' on me that I need to make some noise in order to wake up the others from thier long siesta!
Cut to Jayanagar 4 t block..clad in jackets, two hooded, one with no head no hood (yours truly!) We catch a rick to the bus stop, the dude drives like there is no tomorrow for either of us!
Anyway, Cut to bus stop. Sole bus standing, no sign of civilization. We spot the driver and ask him if the gaadi goes to madiwala, to our surprise he smiles! (Drivers and conductors in Karnataka smiling, that too this early in the morning, is a sign alien to non-natives) The dude says, take 660 c, it will take you directly to bommanahalli.. Our ultimate destination..

Oh by the way, we are on our way to this place called bommanahalli(boms henceforth), as part of our reccee for our docu! (sorry, delayed lead) in search of coconut mandi! coconut water vs aerated drinks being our topic...

So, this smile vala driver drops us off to another bus stop (dint take money from us, three girls going to coconut mandi in the wee hours of the morning is a rare sight! therefore...)To our own surprise, 660 c stops right in front of us! brush with luck...

We get in and first question Bhavu(thats what shriju calls her) asks and the one that only she could have asked" Kitni der lagegi paunchne mein? Thodi der so jao kya?" I nod. We reach. walk walk walk.. I yap on abt christ college and poor kids had no other choice but to listen to my excited and animated version of the pondi trip...as my voice trails and stomach aches..we realise we have come too far, coconut?!

Being inquisitive and lost helps..We ask for directions , as every other person we meet directs us to either the main road or well, to some place that is back of beyond. We take diversion, walk back and turn left.. Coconuts! some more, many more, LOTS!

Too happy with ourselves, like we discovered a new sea route to Venice, we walk faster towards this massive habitation of coconuts.. Bhavu says in her trademark tone "Apun hai na, yahan pe aise shoot karenge"... As the eyes of those innocent coco sellers widen at the word shoot and they tighten their grip over the long weird looking killer weapon that they use to chop coco heads..

We are surrounded by these coco sellers, asking us what we want. "Hum film banane aaye hai" adds Devi.. They all pounce. Multi lingual attack.. We take two steps backwards.. "Hindi a? Kannada?" We say in unison " English." feeling a tad guilty..

My stomach ache returns as my mouth waters, what with so many cocos around! Almost sensing it, the dude asks, "kitna hona?" again we say in chorus "teen,three,muru" Not guilty.. ;)
Free cocos, free cocos! We drink, talk to the dude and walk back with a sense of accompolishment! of what? I have no clue.. Nor do I wanna make sense outta the whole deal.
Somethings are better left like that..

8:00 AM- back to the hostel.. sleep like a log. to get up and blog!
Dream of the docu, hope it comes out well....It better..For we went to some godforsaken place where only cocos dare!!
Apun hai na ab yehi pe shoot karenge!! ;)

DON (t) watch it..

After a lot of deliberation and hardwork ( getting these girls outta the hostel 'properly clothed and made up' is a task, in a theatre the only light that falls on you is from the screen, and nobody is paying to look at you, I fail to understand the 'getting decked up for the movie' part)..we went to watch DON, well the remake..

So we enter, ads and more ads..I wait for that thing they put, that certificate saying Don (colour).. First scene, damn what was the first scene...hmmm..chunkey pandey and some other half-actor with Shahrukh khan, in a round table conference.. while my friend says 'yaar ye banda door se chunkey pandey lag raha hai', the whole row laughs, not cos of SRK's one liners, but cos of the innocence with which the question was posed!

Well polished furniture, amazing cars, skyscrapers et al.. what else would you expect, it was malaysia or singapore or some such place.. The remake part as far as technology is concerned, they did a brillaint job, using a dvd instead of a diary which holds info abt all the underworld bigwigs was a treat for the eyes..even though we were more often than not, reminded of the Tuxedo and Matrix! Action was pretty good, some dialogues were witty. SRK is a natural humourist so thats that. There was one scene just after khaike paan banaraswala... umm..watch it!

That reminds me, the songs!!! Integral part of Indian cinema.. ye mera dil pyar ka deewana! Kareena Kappoor flaunting all she has.. and she has too much to fit into 70mm..Pathetic, she was all over SRK in a million star hotel, in some golden tunic like thingie... i could hear myself snoring.. Helen and kareena, are you kidding me?! sorry but i just couldn take.. there was one ganapathi bappa song to introduce this other Don (in the original, the original Don dies and this other Amitabh enters) so this 'other' Don is called Vijay(same as my Don) i cant help but see Amitabh all over the screen, unfortunately for me, I remember every piece of clothing on him, so vividly that it hurts!!

Anyway, Khaike paan baraswala sounded like please dont eat paan ever! choreography was terrible, SRK looked like he was milking a cow and then mixing sugar! reverse angle.. oh the disco song which was replacement for main hoon don, is not even worth a mention.. aaj ki raat it seems!

The story was obviously the same, remake ke naam pe dhabba..Amitabh Bachchan cannot be replaced, in a remake or in KBC.. Biased? yes Iam.. if you give me a shoddy painting and say this is modern art when I have seen a masterpiece, I would not even spit on you..why waste it?

I might seem too harsh, but Farhan dint expect this from you, SRK couldn do much, his humour, his timing more like it, steals the show. Boman Irani again doesn dissapoint you, versatility personified. Someboby explain what Isha Koppikar and Priyanka Chopra were trying to do, definitely not acting.. I could actually see the director saying CUT!

So considering my expert advice and wisdom and this unbiased review of sorts I hope none of you would waste your precious hard earned money to go take a beauty nap, or be oblivious of the world in your siesta..
Mr. Bachchan I missed you terribly.. every scene, every sequence, every shot.. I could see, hear, feel only you....

Is Don ko sehna mushkil hi nahin, namumkin hai!!
Till later, DON' (T) watch it...

Man-Kind?!

Disgusting. Utterly irritating and extremely frustrating. Not very positive sounding words you might think, I agree. Just that the men in my life and otherwise have been behaving like morons, lately. I always thought girls were a complicated lot and boys were comparitively easier to deal with, which is why for most part of my life, I was found playing, laughing, singing, dancing, crying, jumping,howling shouting and every other -ing with them.

After a certain point you just lose it. One of my friends' ex mailed her and asked her to send some of her poems to him so that he can please the present love of his extremely 'precious' life...
What kind of inane insensitivity is this? I mean dont they think before opening their mouth? Anything goes, right? How long will she be taken for granted? Poor girl cried her lungs out for some dash who cares a damn..

Our beloved college (mis) management comes up with innovative ideas to test our patience. They told us to shoot for an ad which we are all not very happy about, nevertheless we obliged. Here is where we had a close encounter of the nth kind with an A grade idiot ( my abusive vocab will not suffice for what I wanna convey) The cameraman, this weird looking half inch dog, took close ups of some of us for the sake of his personal entertainment!

Closer home, the man we thought was an angel turned out to be..well never mind! The reach of the web is too wide for me to talk about this explicitly. I shall just say 'inappropriate behaviour' and put a full stop. Who do you trust? I have no clue.

Some guy who I thought was my best friend, left at a time when I had no one, after something I thought was wonderful. Vague I know, but now thats the way it is , an unclear misty part in my brain, wherever memory is said to reside. Am I to blame? Is he? Or the omnipresent excuse that is fate?!

Last but not the least, one of my very close friends said something that hurt me to an extent I probably will never be able to put in words. More than hurt what I felt was extreme anger, the one fit like fury when all you wanna do is slap the person sitting next to you! Fortunately for my friends they were not around and therefore did not see me in a trance like state!


Am I over reacting? maybe he dint intend to cause damage of this sort,.. why should I defend him? Iam in a way defending myself.. The question is, where do we go from here? Forget it and move on? Like everything else? Let it linger and lose another friend? Doesn even sound worthwhile.. I read somewhere 'dont let a small fight ruin a great friendship' .. Has he not forgiven? What am I to do?

Man-kind? I dont think so. Time to rephrase....

Kya mujhe pyar hai!!

'Music is the food of life', Shakespeare uncle said once. And its so bloody true. Well, now it goes without saying that I love music.. A song should be melodious to the ear and soothe that small little tiny thingie on the left side of your body. The heart.

Every song brings with it an experience, taking you to a different world, away from deadlines, nagging people, loveless lives. A place in some corner of the world( the world aint round when you are in song mode!!) where you are all alone but it seems like there are many 'yous'! if you get what I mean, it is an immensely complicated situation to explain. You just have to be there to feel it.. pretty close to heaven. It doesn necessarily have to be beethoven's symphony or Mozart's something to give you the AHA effect!

Kabhie Kabhie... I can listen to Kabhi Kabhie all the time! Kinda oxymoronish, but this one is subtle( he he), extremely romantic for a pathetic-kill joy-non romantic person like me.. to top it, its a Bachchan song, and the man's voice is mind-blowing.. Mukesh just adds to the flavour..
And last but not the least, I taught this one to one of my very close friends and he sang it brilliantly.. What say dost?!

Kuch Na Kaho... Iske baare mein kya kahe? RD Burman's last epitome of resonance. The lyrics just pull you inside a small cocoon where all you wanna do is mute yourself...

When you say nothing at all..reminds me of Christ College and all those wonderful people, who understood even before I opened my 'little' mouth, that always desired a mazza!!

Aaj Phir jeene ki tamanna hai.... Beautiful song, beautiful lady, Waheeda Rehman and Lata Mangeshkar-deadly combination. The fact that you wish to live but intend to die both at the same time, only goes to show how haapy you are and content with everything around, its about this moment! The NOW...

Ye jo des hai tera... Cried when I heard it the first time, brain-drain sucks, Rehaman rocks and thats evident in the song. This guy baffles me. He is made for patriotic songs, his raw voice does it for me.

Come to think of it, Ae mere vatan ke logo is another exemplary piece. Kehte hai na rongte khade ho jaate hai. I heard it when I was in the third standard, in the assembly, this bhaiya sang in the most amazing voice ever, and I cried.


Ehsaan tera hoga mujh par.... I wonder what better vocation Mohd. Rafi would have chosen for himself. Just let me stay, just let me be, just let me say that iam in love with you! so lovely, dont you think? I just have to say its beautiful, no synonym for the word will do justice.. On the personal front, this song is for the first and the last 'Boss' in my life...

It's the time to disco... This one just makes me happy! Everytime I listen to it, I just wanna dance no matter where I am.. Memories!!!!

Main Aisa kyun hu.. Created history in the New Indian Express, when one of the interns, ear phones drumming next to the ear drum, sang it so loudly that the head office in Delhi would have heard it! No marks for guessing who this hardly working intern was! Yours truly...


Kya mujhe pyar hai..??? karke tho arse ho gaya! hmmm.. For those who are in love, reaffirms the joy of existing in that strata, for single people, makes you want to be in love, again and again and again... The ultimate!! Current favourite, this song and the singer just sweep me off my feet and all I wanna do is fall! tu meri khwabo mein, jawabo mein sawalo mein...Kudos to the dude who wrote it...

Well, this post comes with the advent of my dearest friend, the i pod! I sleep with it at night so you know the meaning 'dearest' here! reference to the context!! The point is, what makes these songs amazing are the lyrics and the memories associated with each one..Lots more to go.. till then keep singing, people will tell you to shut up, sing even more loudly, they are just jealous of your talent!!! You are a natural.. enjoy!! ;)

To be continued....

VERY ME!

RULE # 1

No Gods, No Stars

No Icons.....

I Pray, I Believe

I M Inspired.....

Just By My 'SELF'

I ME MYSELF!


Courtesy Ree's jacket tag.. She gave it to me coz she got reminded of me when she read it..
Thanks Ree..

E-n-g-l-i-s-h Phew!

" English is a funny language, I talk english, walk english, I laugh english!", says Mr. Bachchan in Namak Halal. But I really dont understand the logic, probably cos there is none. Widely spoken, all across the globe, international language, english literature is THE literature. Weird though.
I always thought I knew the language to an extent that I can call myself 'comfortable' with it! Lo and behold! that was not to be.. We have english grammar classes almost everyday ( God is great) for two hours! Post lunch, after an amazing sound editing class, which eye( lids kept open by force and extra kaajal) in the world and which ass on earth would want to 'passively' convert sentences into active voice, is a question that begs for an answer.

Well, Iam invariably in the front bench, under our beloved Sandy ma'am's nose, who painstakingly, in her very resonant voice teaches us phonemes..umm..Phonetics! As her mouth makes an irritating "owa, as in 'world' and 'wow.. We nod in agreement, slowly repeating what she said but simultaneously acknowledging the fact that this is nothing but waste of our precious time, which we would have otherwise spent G talking! Trust me its like doing a crash course in typewriting and english without grammar, making sense alright...

My attention span is one tenth of a second and I have no patience nor the inclination to detect and disect a normal, harmless sentence into its parts of speech. I mean, for what joy?
'She is a beautiful girl' , now 'beautiful' is an adjective, i.e it describes the noun, here the noun is 'girl', for the benefit of those like me who dont know the nuances or intricacies that make this language a force to reckon with. The point is, 'She is a beautiful girl'. Period. I am not gonna say, She- pronoun-is -(?) a-article-beautiful-adjective-girl-noun! Had I been a guy the girl would have consulted a dictionary and I would have landed up in some godforsaken hospital.

I have no idea how I write without any knowledge about the auxiliary verbs, the main clause and its subordinate (Imperialism at its best, what with the main and its subordinate!) The english are a snobbish lot, after all..

To conclude, I fail to comprehend the need for these two hours of continuous brain drain, cos the only activity I actively participate in, is the passing of chits to Ree through other victims of the very same torture. Its like a 'concentration camp' wherein, all u do is sit and look at the white board as the words in circles, which are supposed to be some part of speech (preposition, adverb et al) pole vault over your head. And you wonder do I even belong here? Now, oh ma'am loves 'now', actually its 'nuf' and how is 'huf'! what the hell were thay teaching us is school?

Education system, I tell you!

So nuf I dont know huf to proceed further with my argument. Phew! too much I have written. i wrote too much, wrote is past participle of write! or written is past participle? whatever! Tenses, never mind.. U get what iam sayin?

Moral of the story: Ignorance is bliss! If u can afford it, that is.. English aint my cup of tea!

DAZED

A song half sung
A light lit dim
An unheard beat
A story begins...

Dawn to dusk
Dusk to dawn
Life is just
Destiny's pawn

Journey of a mule,
burdened back
Hunching past ghosts
in a ghastly, stuffed back

Snap,snap,snap
Sack opens
brewing memories fall
Then, here,now...dazed and lost

Oblivious of the cacophony
Rantling in my head
A constant question
An ignored thought

A call to summon
loud loud noise
Background beckons
tempting voice

I chose to be
I chose not to see
Remain forever
Dazed in glee....

ZILCH

Its weird. Everything begins and ends with nothing. The question is why do somethings begin if they have to end? We meet so many people in the course of a lifetime, some stick on, some pass by, some are somewhere out there but never forgotten.
One of my 'best' friends left a couple of days back. The dude forgot his phone at home and the only number etched (forcefully, unwillingly) in his memory, other than his of course was\is mine. "iam leaving for good"! yours or mine?!
That was all he said. I could only manage an "OK".. horrible.. fewest words spoken on phone, ever! But the funniest part is I dint feel a thing! should i, shouldn i?! what am i supposed to feel.. something or NOTHING??
We met for lunch. They chatted mercilessly in malayalam. I played with my spoon and plate wondering what the hell am I doing here, unwanted attachment. why was I feeling outta place with my friends of three long eventful years? anyway, we went shopping! thats one thing I dont like indulging in.. Everyone went hopping from one shop to another. Dude takes a huge pile of clothes, anything and everything he managed to find, goes to the trial room, comes out with oversized pants, tries to grab others attention but no one except me comments!
I tell him its too long, he ignores and asks others. I tell myself not to feel bad. But I did feel bad, pathetic actually.. This is the same guy who wouldn even go to the loo without my permission! Well, not really, but he was.. never mind. Finally San walks in like a breather, I am all too happy to see him. Anyway, the dude in question continues to admire himself in the mirror. I tell him "You still are self-obsessed, somethings never change" He gives me this 'whatever' look and goes about his business and I stand there looking at the mirror and the stranger standing in front of me. Nothing between us. Zero.
We, as in, all of us start giving our expert comment on movies and he tells me to watch this mallu flick that casts my favourite actor, I ask without any emotion " oh you remember what i like? I am surprised" He says " I dont forget things" ... conversation with others about how corn is too tasty continues with me standing in the middle of these newly found old people. Have i changed or have they? Or has Nothing changed..
Time to go. I offer to drop him as the rick guy has to pass our dude's place anyway. We go to book his tickets, five minutes, walking in silence towards the college where we first met. Not feeling a thing. Silence is broken:
Dude: How is your brother?
Me:(surprised) he is fine. How is your brother?
Dude: Fine. Busy with studies.
Me: Oh ok.
Inconsequential conversation between two ppl who used to talk for six hours at a stretch, talking bout nothing at all but still having said so much..
We take a rick. The auto guy asks for extra money. Dude looks at me, knowing very well I wont pay a penny more than the meter, "lets go, i will pay the extra amount" . I say another horrible "ok".. In the rick:
Me:So how come u suddenly decided to leave? (you left long back, dint u?)
Dude: Not suddenly, had been planning since three months.
Me: oh ok.. so what plans next? (yeah like he is some education minister!)
Dude: havent thought of it yet.
Me and Dude together: Will come back here only! (laughter, genuine laughter)
Silence again. Twenty minutes pass by.
Dude: Traffic sucks here.
Me:hmm..yeah it has become pretty bad. The bikes and stuff..remember Goa? Bajaj avenger? ( i kick myself for saying that)
Dude: yeah. nice bike.
Me: yeah.
Sittin half feet awayI could feel the distance of a million miles. We were struggling for words to fill our empty namesake dialogue...Back to nothingness..
Rick stops. He gets down. Says bye and walks off. I say, well, nothing.
From the shortest phone call to the longest auto ride which lasted a paltry half an hour, I couldn help rewinding the tapes of memory, washed away by time. There was.. thats the word 'was'! There was nothing, there is nothing. Still there is a void. Unfilled, probably it never will be. We begin and end with one word Zilch Zilch and Zilch.